Sunday Sermons
Perfectionsim - Matthew 5:48
Perfectionism - Matthew 5:48
There is a bit of controversy and trepidation as I approach the topic of perfectionism. Like many things spiritual, it's important to make a distinction between what God has given and what the world has distorted. This lesson is an attempt, in part, to do that – for all our good.
I'm not suggesting in this lesson that we ought to lower standards, slack off or even, necessarily, change our perspective – though I think there may be value in some of that for some of us, but only in an effort to better please God, better do His will and better make our walk, and the walk of those around us, more effective and meaningful.
I've spent much of my life as a perfectionist in one way or another. I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist who is, at times, prone to fall of the wagon. I doubt it's anything anyone ever really did or didn't do to me that caused me to lean this way. I have my suspicions as to its germination in my life, but before I knew it, perfectionism had deep roots in my life and experiences. Those roots helped shape me, for good and for bad, and can be a difficult part of the old man to shed.
As used in this lesson, perfectionism is slightly different than perfect or perfection. Somewhat akin to agism, racism, sexism – all of which are the negative ramification of an actual, not necessarily negative, thing. An -ism, defined loosely, is “a distinctive system of beliefs, myth, doctrine or theory that guides a social movement, institution, class, individual or group”. In this case, perfectionism is a set of beliefs, real or imaginary, that guides the twisting of perfection. My suggestion is that perfectionism or being perfectionistic is a negative thing, while perfection is not. While we often lump them together, they are actually mutually exclusive.
God's Challenge & Command
Before I made such a distinction, Matthew 5:48 had intrigued me over the years.
“Therefore, you are to be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” Mostly because I didn't really understand it, the idea that God was commanding me to be perfect seemed impossible, unreasonable and unfair. On some level, I may have even thought that there was a trick, some hidden camera, a riddle – all there, setting me up to fail. Fortunately, I didn't assume that God would do that. Instead, I figured I didn't have the correct take on the verse.
The original word used here, perfect, is from the Greek word teleios used to denote completeness or full maturity – in this case, of ethics or moral character. Teleios is from telos or an objective goal to pattern ourselves after, the conclusion or ultimate, in this case, God.
It is the same word used in Matthew 19 when Jesus answers the rich young ruler's question of “what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?” (v. 16) - “If you wish to be complete...” (v. 21). The result is a man who didn't want to let go of the world's standard of perfection for God's. It's the antithesis to being “conformed to this world” in Romans 12:2 “prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect”. InColossians 1:28 the idea is again presented as being “complete”. In James the concept is anything but hidden when it says, “...let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (1:4). “The word "perfect" means: 'brought to its end, finished, wanting nothing necessary to completeness' (Thayer p. 618); 'having attained the end or purpose, complete' (Arndt, p. 809). Concerning the phrase "perfect result", Arndt says, 'let endurance show itself perfectly in practice' (p. 308)... 'that you may be perfect complete, lacking in nothing'. The word "perfect" here means: 'fully developed in a moral sense' (Arndt, p. 809) (Col. 1:28; Hebrews 5:14; 1 Cor. 14:20). A mature, tried and proven character is in view (Romans 5:3-4). The words do not mean sinless perfection. (Commentary on the Book of James, Dunagan)
Now, I'm not sure about you, but when I'm being honest with myself, even on a good day, rarely do I tell myself, “self, you're 'perfect, complete, lacking in nothing' today. Congratulations!” I'm working on it, because of the urging of verses like these, but I'm sure I'll always be working on it. Paul seems to come to the same realization in Philippians 3:7-21.
When considering scripture, as in the case of Matthew 5:48, you sometimes have to ask yourself, as a friend of mine once said, “What's the therefore there for?” As is usually the case, the word “therefore” looks back. In the case of this verse, it probably looks back quite a bit as the statement is in the echo of several “You have heard... but I say...” contrasts (Matthew 5:21-47), it's in the shadow of the Beatitudes and Similtudes (Matthew 5:3-16) as well as Jesus' statement in verse 17, that He “came to fulfill the Law”. A very similar statement in Leviticus, “You shall be holy, for I the Lord you God am holy.” (Leviticus 19:2), helps us understand what's being said here in Matthew. It places its parallel in the midst of commands that are well within our control and choice (Leviticus 19:2-5, 11-13a, 14-19a, 30-37).
So, regarding Matthew 5:48, we have three possible conclusions to consider;
Descriptive of a current, earthly condition – probably not for “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23), “to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” (James 4:17) and finally, “'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,Nor are your ways My ways,' declares the LORD. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.'” (Isaiah 55:8, 9)
Descriptive of a future, heavenly condition – perhaps, in part (1 Corinthians 15:46-58, and again, Paul's statement in Philippians 3:12)
Descriptive of actions/attitudes/states to strive for – probably, based on the context as already discussed but also verses such as Colossians 3:14; 2 Corinthians 12:9; John 17:13-23; Ephesians 5:1-8; Galatians 5:22-23; 1 John 1:5-10 “Walk in the light”.
Striving for Perfection
We can't be perfect, but that's no excuse to purposely fall short. “The lives of every member must be governed by the attitude of striving for spiritual perfection. God is against "slackers" among His people (Revelation 3:15-16).” (Dunagan). Just as in Matthew 5:48, others are not the standard, God is. Rather than striving after God's perfection, we often try to strive for someone else's idea of perfect in the form of fad, fashion or certain behaviors. We imitate man rather than imitating God (Ephesians 5:1). We must remember that the world often sees God through us. (I John 4:17)
For those of us not willing to let go of the chance for perfection here, there is a glimmer of hope – but only when doing as God would have us do, as illustrated in selections from the context of James 3: “For we all stumble in many ways If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well.” (v. 2) “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.” (v. 8-10) “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.” (v. 13) “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” (v. 17-18).
Scofield's Reference Notes on Matthew 5 states that “the word perfect here implies full development, growth into maturity of godliness, not sinless perfection (Eph. 4:12, 13). In this passage, the Father's kindness, not his sinlessness, is the point in question. (Luke 6:35, 36)” (Scofield) Harper's Bible Commentary suggests that this verse “demands the total and unreserved obedience of the whole person.” (Harper, p. 958)
“God does not require flawless living in the sense that we always invest in the right stocks, buy the right car, and so on. God simply expects honesty, goodness, kindness, mercy, and so on, to be in every aspect of our lives (1 Peter 1:15). God expects the right moral choices from the right motivation (1 Corinthians 13:1-4)... Do you believe that God knows what He is doing? He did actually create men and women, and as the Creator doesn’t He know better than anyone else what every man and woman, on a daily basis, and in all sorts of situations, is capable of doing?” (Tough Questions, Dunagan)
“Perfection will come, not in this life, but in the life to come.” (Phillipians 3:7-11, Dunagan) To realize this perfection, it comes through obedience. In regard to such obedience – there is only one option – perfection. Anything short waters down obedience. We cannot be mostly obedient, we can only be perfectly obedient. Perfection fulfills obedience. Obedience is defined by God.
The Perfectionism of the Pharisees
The Pharisees took perfectionism to competitive levels (Luke, 16:15; Matthew 23:5-7. 14. 23-28; Luke 18:9-14) – tassels, praying long in public, outward appearances, etc. “The Jewish teachers by neighbour understood only those who were of their own country, nation, and religion, whom they were pleased to look upon as their friends. The Lord Jesus teaches that we must do all the real kindness we can to all, especially to their souls. We must pray for them. While many will render good for good, we must render good for evil; and this will speak a nobler principle than most men act by. Others salute their brethren, and embrace those of their own party, and way, and opinion, but we must not so confine our respect. It is the duty of Christians to desire, and aim at, and press towards perfection in grace and holiness. And therein we must study to conform ourselves to the example of our heavenly Father, 1Pe 1:15, 16. Surely more is to be expected from the followers of Christ than from others; surely more will be found in them than in others. Let us beg of God to enable us to prove ourselves his children.” (Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible, Public Domain)
Perfectionism Pitfalls
Results of Perfectionism to watch for and fight against include;
Unrealistic expectations that drive others away. When we expect perfection, from others or self, no one can meet it - creating strained relationships at best. Secondly,
if we expect others to be perfect – we'll soon be disappointed.Anger, Depression, Shyness, Being Demanding/Bossy/Selfish, Worry, Fear, self diagnosed 'OCD', Seeking safety rather than growth. Perfectionism, being the negative, acts negatively and can do some real damage in our lives.
Missed Opportunities. “I'm not going to try unless I can be guaranteed perfection.”
Procrastination and Incompletes. There's always enough time, money and energy for what we want most, but if what we want most is perfection, we'll quickly discover that there's never enough time, money or energy – leaving us with procrastination and incomplete projects.
Uninvolvement. Those who refuse to sing, pray, preach, evangelize, fellowship – because you can't really do these things 'perfectly' so why do them at all, even if it means not doing what God expects us to do.
Sin. Perfectionism sets us up for falsehood and fakery. In 1 John 1:5-10, we saw that we can be caught up in the illusion of perfectionism, unwilling to be honest with ourselves and therefore with anyone else, including God, which is verse 8, how then are we able to confess our sins – we're busy trying to convince ourselves that we don't deal in sin – a sure sign that we have no control over it.
We will hurt ourselves, and others, striving for ungodly perfection generated by the world or our ourselves but, in contrast, everything is better within God's perfection. People are good to each other, understanding that it's not a competition to see who's perfect. We begin to understand, when it comes to things that are are not tied to God and His will, that we'd rather be happy (here and eternally) than right (at the exclusion of those who are wrong).
God uses our imperfection to create a need for Him. No one is perfect, if we were, why would we need God. Only God, Christ and the Holy Spirit are perfect – when we pretend to be perfect, we pretend to be God.
Perfectionism is a difficult thing to wear – instead, clothe yourself in Christ (Galatians 3:27). The perfection we ought to strive for is the same process as Ephesians 4:24 “put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” That's not some attempt at perfection; that IS perfect, true perfection. When we read Ephesians 2:4-9, we should quickly realize that perfectionism is boasting in your own ability to 'save' yourself. All such boasting is empty, because we cannot save ourselves, no matter how hard we might try. Salvation comes through Christ alone.
The perfection that we often seek is absolutely impossible while the perfection that God desires from us is absolutely possible.
