Following Jesus

Mark Dunagan
02/13/11 - Sunday Morning

 

Following Jesus
The Challenge of Resisting Foul Language

Writer Dave Burchett observed that a while back there was a news article that said, “Swearing at work boosts team spirit”. The article went on to say that swearing in the work place would become more common as traditional taboos are broken down. Of course the article noted that swearing at the boss or customers is probably not a good idea. The key, it noted, was in knowing when such language was appropriate. Appropriate?

The article did get one thing right – traditional taboos (behavior contrary to what many use to call “values”) are ending in our culture and language is becoming coarser everywhere. It is getting so bad that a 15 year-old in Southern California started a No Cussing Club at South Pasadena High School and convinced the Los Angles County Board of Supervisors to proclaim the first week in March, “No Cussing Week”, to which some students responded by going out of their way to multiply their profanity.

Appropriate?

There is no mystery when it comes to profanity, and the good news is we don’t need a crash course in when it is or is not appropriate; the Bible is very clear here, it is never appropriate, no matter what the situation:

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth” (Ephesians 4:29). “And there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:4-5). God clearly states that filthy talk makes one an impure person, and being an impure person will keep you out of heaven. Having self-control with our words is imperative.

“Times Are Changing”

It seems that the easy way to justify moral corruption in a culture is to simply say, “times are different now”. Well yes, they are different, and if we keep moving in the same morally destructive direction, we are headed toward the graveyard of civilizations! “Different” is not always good. Besides, by cursory read of the above passages makes it clear that filthy language was a problem in the First Century as in the 21st Century.

“But They Are Just Words”

Some try to justify their use of profanity by saying that the things they say are just words. Think again. If they are really meaningless words, then why is it so important to an individual that he must use that curse word? The very fact that people are insistent and addicted to saying a word over and over again, and refuse to stop, is proof that there is something very real behind those words. If the words are just words, then the person using them should have no problem altering what they say when they are asked to change their speech. The fact that so many people who are swearing get even more upset when asked to stop, is proof that the real issue here is the condition of a person’s heart. Jesus noted that “words” are never “just words”:

• “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man” (Matthew 15:18; Mark 7:20)

This does not mean that if a child (who has heard a swear word at school) comes home and repeats it has an evil heart. Still, if I know what that word means and persist in using it, yes, I do have an evil heart. Good-hearted people do not spew filth, it is as simple as that.

• “And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37)

This verse also reinforces the idea that our words reveal the true condition of our heart. If God is going to judge what we have said, then “what we have said” and “who we are” is one in the same thing. They are never “just mere words” or a “meaningless expression”. If the word is angry – the heart is angry.

• So if word hurts – the heart intended it to hurt.
• If the word is a put-down, an insult – the heart intended it as such.
• If the word is filthy – the heart is thinking filthy things.
• If the word is coarse, the heart is coarse.
• If the word describes you in an unflattering way, if the word is disrespectful – the heart does not respect you.

“We Don’t Mean It”

One argument that I have heard is that people can sit around and call each other names, but no disrespect is intended. Or another may claim that calling someone this or that is actually a mark of affection. I can call my wife this or that, and she can call me this or that, but we really do love one another. Here is what I have seen and learned:

• Jesus was right. Words reveal the condition of the heart – thetrue condition of any relationship or friendship.
• People that they really respect do not receive such treatment. True mutual respect is lacking.
• Disrespect is manifested in other areas as well.
• The language that seems playful at first, eventually takes a toll on a relationship.
• A person often starts to believe that he or she is in reality what they are being called.
• Divorce often follows years after all respect has been dissolved.

“I Am Around It All The Time”

I know – living and working in the real world unfortunately puts one in situations in which the language can be horrible. One thoughtful person observed, “I have found that language like that sticks to me the way smoke from the bar does – I bring it home”. Once again, the Bible is true, be careful about what you are allowing to influence you (1 Corinthians 15:33; Proverbs 22:24 “Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself”. Learning his ways includes adopting his language. God knows that we live and work about sinners (1 Corinthians 5:10), yet, God still expects us to keep our hearts clean (Romans 12:1-2; 2 Corinthians 7:1; James 1:27 “and to keep oneself unstained by the world”). Life is about doing hard things, and this is one of them.

Practical Help

For me the real test of how sincere we are when it comes to language is whether or not we are willing to let others correct us when we slip.

• If you work around filthy language, ask your wife and family to hold you accountable. Please correct me anytime I start to slip.
• Resenting such correction, getting defensive, trying to justify it only reveals that our heart is being hardened.
• Refuse to offer the excuses from the world, such as, “But I was angry”, or “I was trying to emphasize a point”, or “I am really frustrated right now”, or “everyone says this now”.
• Read the Bible frequently and other valuable books. Increasing your vocabulary with plenty of meaningful words will leave you less likely to resort to profane words when trying to express yourself. Understand the right name for that person who annoys you. There are good and accurate forceful words that we can use, like “selfish”, “arrogant”, “greedy”, “liar”, etc. (Titus 1:12).
• Foul language is not only sinful, it equally reveals a lack of civility, respect, and reveals bad manners and ignorance.
• The idea that profanity is needed to make a point is false. If you want to get someone’s attention, then mention “God” in a respectful way. Saying, “The Lord rebuke you” (Jude 9) is far more powerful than using those foul words that people equally use to describe something they just repaired, a steak, a red light, a car, and 1000 other things.
• Profanity is a cheap way of trying to make a point. Often a swear word is nothing more than a poor substitute for a good argument. Learn to have a quick and intelligent response that makes people pause and think rather than just swearing at them. Growing up means having the intelligent and godly answer (1 Peter 3:15).

Euphemisms

A Euphemism is a word or expression that takes the place of the one is offensive or filthy; a less offensive way of saying a dirty word. I am not going to list common euphemisms because you probably already know what they are. The problem with a euphemism is that we still mean the same thing as if we have actually said the evil word. The evil thought is still there. We are only kidding ourselves if we think are making progress in cleaning up our hearts by resorting to euphemisms. Resorting to euphemisms is like trying to stop being an alcoholic by drinking beer instead of hard liquor. Nothing is being accomplished. I am convinced that euphemisms equally lead you right back into swearing, because if you are still maintaining an angry heart and thinking the same sinful thoughts, then using a euphemism is not going to be satisfying for very long.

“Self-Will”

I know that people can pick up the habit of using bad language and fail to realize how often they swear in just everyday conversation. They are not angry, neither are they extremely happy, they are just attaching swear words to mundane things. The real test is when someone points out this bad habit. When someone is swearing and is asked politely to pay better attention to what they are saying, if the reaction is more swearing and statements like, “Mind your own business”, “Get over it”, or something similar, then swearing is really all about self-will, doing and saying what I want no matter how it hurts others. Mature people value the souls of others far more than their ‘right’ to say whatever they want.

Mark Dunagan/Beaverton Church of Christ/503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net