Me and My House

Mark Dunagan
11/23/08 - Sunday Morning

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15)

War has been Declared

• One out of two marriages end in divorce

• In 1996, two out of every five households was maintained by a woman with no husband present

• Every seventy-eight seconds, a teenager in America attempts suicide

• Sixty-six percent of American high school seniors have used illegal drugs

• Tonight, enough teenagers to fill the Rose Bowl, Cotton Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Orange Bowl, Fiesta Bowl, and the average Super Bowl will practice prostitution to support a drug addiction (Point Man, Steve Farrar, pp. 22-23).

Every day Christians can see that Satan has indeed declared war on the marriages and families in this country. We encounter the wounded everyday as we interact with extended family members, go to work or spend time with our neighbors.

Satan's Goals

From what we see it is clear that Satan has the following agenda:

• "To effectively alienate and sever a husband's relationship with his wife. Such a division can either be physical or emotional. Both are equally effective".

• "To effectively alienate and sever a father's relationship with his children. Such a division can either be physical or emotional. Both are equally effective" (Point Man pp. 25-26).

• To neutralize the husband and father in the home.

A Couple's Response

• Husbands and wives must constantly work to overcome physical and emotional distance. "Error always increases with distance". Humble, honest, forgiving and kind communication is needed (Colossians 3:19; Ephesians 4:26-27; 1 Peter 3:7). Satan hates when couples spend time speaking humbly and kind to each other, because these talks break down or prevent barriers from arising between husbands and wives. The same sort of effort must be made to eliminate the distance between a couple and their children (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). James Carroll has said, "The curse of fatherhood is distance, and the good fathers spend their lives trying to overcome it" (Point Man p. 47).

• Expect to be attacked (1 Peter 4:12)! This means that between attacks I must be repairing the damage, removing the barriers, getting rid of the mines that were laid by the enemy and strengthening my relationships with my spouse and children and being spiritually prepared for the next assault. "The moment a man gets serious about following hard after Christ, he can expect the shelling to start" (Point Man p. 32).

• Draw from the strength of other couples who are wanting to do the right thing. "It is a scientific fact that when Canada geese fly in formation they travel 70 percent faster than when they travel alone" (p. 33).

• Do not buy into the propaganda from the enemy. For example, less time always equals less influence, even if you call it "quality time".

• Be on the same page. Remember, both husband and wife are in the cockpit and the rest of their family, including grandchildren, are in the back of the plane. If they crash, typically everyone else crashes as well. "Pat Conroy observed upon his own marriage's dissolution, 'Each divorce is the death of a small civilization'" (Point Man p. 68).

Save The Boys!

"For they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods" (Deuteronomy 7:4). Yes, we need to save the daughters as well, but have you noticed in Scripture how often apostasy began with men? Numbers 16:1-2; 32:2; Numbers 13:31 "But the men who had gone up with him said, 'We are not able to go up against the people, for they are too strong for us'". "If I could offer a single prescription for the survival of America, and particularly black America", wrote William Raspberry, a black columnist with theWashington Post, "it would be to restore the family. And if you asked me how to do it, my answer — doubtlessly oversimplified — would be: save the boys" (Point Man p. 36).

Avoiding Elimination

Satan has various ways in neutralizing men (and women) and the following are two I have seen:

• The Sexually Compromised

Like all other biblical commands there is good reason behind the command to "flee fornication" (1 Corinthians 6:18) or "flee youthful lusts" (2 Timothy 2:22). Allow me to offer the following insights:

1. On the freeway to happiness, do not take the exit ramp marked "adultery" or "sexual immorality"; it may look like a short-cut, but it isn't. Keep driving until you see the exit ramp named "obedience". That is the only path to happiness (Luke 6:46-49).

2. Remember, when people leave their mate for another partner, they are taking themselves, and their problems with them. "You are walking into this new relationship with the same personality, strengths and weaknesses you have in your current marriage. And if you can't work out things with your current wife, what makes you think it will be any different with another woman?" (Point Man p. 66).

3. The first casualty when we yield to temptation is the truth.

4. If one is tempted to think that another woman or man is more understanding than one's current mate, "I hate to be the one who breaks the news, but it's probably because she doesn't know you very well" (Point Man p. 61).

5. "Temptation rarely comes in the hours when we are working. It is in their leisure time that men are made or marred" (p. 91).

6. "What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely" (Franklin Jones).

Steve Farrar observed that during the sixties there was a poster of two young people on a hill, and the poster said, "You do your thing, and I'll do mine, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful". He suggests that the poster should have read, "You be selfish, and I'll be selfish, and if by chance we find each other, it's nuclear war", because that is reality. Selfishness, and following my own feelings, instead of doing the right thing will destroy any relationship. The Holy Spirit specifically said, "Love does not seek its down" (1 Corinthians 13:5), therefore, either love will drive out selfishness or selfishness will destroy love, but they cannot coexist.

• Consumed by a Career

Men are often asked, "if it's possible to 'have it all' — a full and satisfying personal life and a full and satisfying, hard-working profession one. Our answer is: No. The price of excellence is time, energy, attention and focus, at the very same time that energy, attention, and focus could have gone toward enjoying your daughter's soccer game. Excellence is a high cost item" (Tom Peters and Nancy Austin, A Passion for Excellence, p. 496). Do not buy into the myth that it is acceptable or even noble to sacrifice wife and children in order to get ahead. Personally, I have never seen anyone get ahead in this manner — and neither had Solomon (Ecclesiastes 4:8; 5:10). This is one of those "foolish and that hurtful desires" that end up drowning men in ruin (1 Timothy 6:9).

Your Life-Line

Repeatedly in Scripture we are told that the word of God is our "life-line" (Psalm 1:1; Deuteronomy 8:3; 2 Timothy 3:16-17). Consider the following quote:

"Are you feeling overwhelmed and discouraged in your walk with Christ? Are you defeated and spiritually ineffective? Have you lost your excitement and enthusiasm in following hard after Christ? Have you so given in to habitual sin that it now threatens to sink you? Have you been duped by the enemy into ignoring the Scripture? Has your schedule become so crowded that you haven't picked up your Bible in weeks? As you step on the spiritual scales, do you find yourself weighing in at less than half of your normal weight? If so, you have been conned into living as though you can survive without the Bible. The result is defeat and malnourishment" (Point Man p. 117).

The Good News

Success, nourishment, strength and victory are as near as picking up your sword (Ephesians 6:17) and uniting it will prayer. Read, mediate, pray and apply and you will be on your way to becoming the sturdy tree by the river's edge!