Reviving First Love

Mark Dunagan
02/01/09 - Sunday Morning

As Jesus personally inspected the various first century congregations in what was known then as Asia Minor, He said concerning the congregation in Ephesus, “But I have this against you, that you have left your first love” (Revelation 2:4). In this lesson I want to examine what this first love is, how it is demonstrated, how it is lost, and how to regain or revive it.

I Can Love

We might look at the definition of love given in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and conclude that we cannot express such a high and noble love, yet that is not true. The Corinthians were far from perfect or even mature, and had been occupied in many unloving behaviors in the past (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Like many today they were completely wrong about what love is, yet God knew that they could express genuine love. I am impressed that the Christians in Ephesus had at one time been exactly where God wanted them to be concerning love. They had possessed and displayed such love, and although they had “left” and “fallen” (2:5) from it, they had the ability to get back to that honorable condition (2:5). Love can be revived; thank heaven it is not something that once lost, can never be regained.

I Can Love as God Wants Me to Love Because….

1. Love has been clearly defined for me: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
2. I have the greatest incentives in the world to love: 1 John 4:19,11
3. We have seen love clearly and beautifully demonstrated: 1 John 4:10
4. We have been the frequent recipients of love.

What the Problem is Not

“Sadly, there seems to be something of a groundswell in recent years to use the letter to the Church at Ephesus to make us believe there is an unhealthy tension between truth and love. In fact, this passage is often used to attempt to demonstrate that when there is a choice to be made between pointing out error in the church and remaining silent in order to be loving, that silence should always take priority” (Craig W. Booth, The Faithful Word. Org). Some have mistakenly thought that all the emphasis that the Ephesians had placed on being sound resulted in making this church unloving (Revelation 2:2-3), yet that is not the conclusion that Jesus reaches. Jesus gives the congregation praise for:

1. Toil on His behalf
2. Being unwilling to tolerate evil men and not moving the lines of fellowship
3. Being diligent in keeping the church pure
4. Testing the validity of those who claimed to be apostles
5. Having a clear picture of truth and error
6. Persevering and being discerning
7. Enduring for the sake of Jesus’ name, not growing weary
8. Hating the deeds of the Nicolaitans (2:6)

There is nothing but praise for all this, furthermore Jesus never tells this congregation to stop doing these things or to back off even a little. Jesus considered these things to be “good qualities”. Obviously, there is no tension between adherence to truth and maintaining a first love, in fact, truth and love are often placed together (Ephesians 4:15; 1 Corinthians 13:6).

What Is The First Love Under Consideration?

Most believe that it is either a love for man or a love for Christ. Some say that it looks like the Ephesians were loving Christ with intense devotion, even up to this point it is said, “You have endured for My name’s sake” (Revelation 2:3), that is, enduring for Christ and not for themselves. Others feel that while they were still enduring, the motivation for enduring had slipped – that what had initially been love was becoming something more of a duty. This should not surprise us for we can keep on doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). Another point of view is that the love that had slipped was a love for each other. Either way, they no longer loved Jesus as they did at first or they no longer loved each other as they had in times past. Seeing, however, that love for God and love for others is so closely knit, it may have been a combination of both, “If someone says, ‘I love God’, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen” (1 John 4:20).

How to Rekindle Love

I am impressed that the solution that Jesus gives to this serious problem, a problem so dangerous that it threatens their salvation (2:5), is a very simple and uncomplicated answer. I think this is probably true of most spiritual problems; the solution is always doable and often simple. I am equally impressed that the Lord gives room and some time for recovery; He does not judge immediately, rather He wants to give people time to repent – a quality man should never use, however, to postpone his own repentance.

• “Remember Therefore from Where You Have Fallen” (2:5)

There is great power in our memories of the past. The Hebrew writer gave another group of Christians a similar exhortation when he said, “But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions” (Hebrews 10:32). There are some things that we always need to remember:

1. Remember the earnestness and zeal surrounding your conversion (Acts 19:19). You had a willingness to do anything to be saved and did not want anything to prevent you from getting right with God (Acts 8:36).
2. How joyful were you? How relieved you were to have your sins forgiven! How grateful!
3. Remember how you started to devour the Bible, the joy in your singing, the fervency in your prayers.
4. Remember your level of commitment, your desire to worship, your eagerness to worship publically. Nothing could deter you!
5. The first commandment is clear, we must love God with all we are and have, nothing less will do. We cheat ourselves when we do not offer God our best.
6. Many of the same things could be said about our attitude toward our new brethren. We were excited to see these people, work and worship with them, and seeing them was one of the highlights of our week, “I was glad when they said to me, let us go to the house of the Lord” (Psalm 122:1). Let’s continue to nurture the relationships we have with one another.

An Application to Family

If a love for God can be restored and if a love for brethren can be fully restored then surely a love for a mate cannot have the same restoration. “Remember” is equally important in a family or a marriage. For children, “remember” how your parents have loved you year after year. For spouses, “remember” the sacrifices you once made for each other, the desire to never be apart, the things you said to each other and the promises you wanted to give. As you interact with your spouse, look at your interactions through the eyes of the young couple you were when you fell in love years before. Would that young couple (your younger selves) be happy to see the love that now exists, or would they rebuke both of you? Remember where you came from.

• “Repent”

Initially, repentance is acknowledgement that something is not right. We can become too “comfortable” in poorly loving God or others. We can become good at making excuses, at arguing that everyone just naturally declines in their zeal over the years. Giving God less than all of me is clearly wrong, loving others less than myself is equally wrong, and loving my wife far less than Christ loved the church is also wrong. Right here, we are reminded that “how much” or “how deep we love” is a choice that we make. Anyone can love God more deeply – if they want to.

• “Do The First works”

The Corinthians were not controlled by the circumstances, their lack of love was not an accident or “fate”; rather, they had the power to change things in a big way. They allowed a coldness to set in toward God, and they could turn that around. Jesus did not tell them to simply wait for some power on high to restore their former passion for God or others. Neither did He tell them to first wait for the feeling. He told them to “do”. Doing would include getting back and praying like they used to, devouring Scripture as they once did, getting involved and serving like in the former days. Jesus said “do” and not “feel” because feelings cannot be commanded, but doing can, and when I start doing the right thing it is amazing at how quickly the old feelings return. When it comes to marriage, one of the simplest and best ways to restore love is not to wait for feelings or for the other person to act, but to take action oneself – to start doing the things you used to do when you were dating.