Living Graciously

Mark Dunagan
03/03/13 - Sunday Evening

Living Graciously

God exhorts His people to speak and live in such a way that we extend grace to those around us, particularly to those who are not Christians. Because of sin the world that God created has become a very tough place (Genesis 3:14-15), but God’s people can bring some kindness and soften the hard edges.

• “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
• “Not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead” (1 Peter 3:9).

In this lesson I want to explore some practical ways of living graciously in a dark, sin filled world.

Do Not Be Easily Offended

• “Love is…not provoked… love bears all things” (1 Corinthians 13:5,7).
• “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression” (Proverbs 19:11).

This certainly does not mean that truth should be watered down in an effort to convince ourselves that feel sin isn’t a big deal.  Rather, not being easily offended means:

• We look past the bad behavior and see the person who might not know any better.  We see someone who was not raised in a good home or who was neglected by their parents or who never had the advantage in their youth of going to worship and learning about the Lord.
• Could God be more right when He says in 1 Corinthians 13 that love keeps no record of wrongs?  The person who knows they are loved by the Lord will have very little time or interest in mentally collecting long lists of grievances— real or imagined.
• The Christian remembers that when their feelings are hurt—they are still not bleeding (Hebrews 12:3-4).  The early Christians remained faithful with good attitudes, their feelings were often hurt—and they bled as well.
• Jesus is a good example of living graciously.  When people knew better than how they were choosing to live, He called them on it (Matthew 23).  He was willing to give the sinner a second chance (John 8:11) and at the same time encouraged them to live up to their potential.

Promote the Success of Others

When Jesus told the woman, “from now on sin no more” (John 8:11), He was focusing on her future.  He was essentially telling her that she was capable of a far better life.  In the world, people sometimes worry that if they help someone else, they might be helping someone who will eventually turn on them, and somehow edge them out.  Many have heard stories from the corporate world in which a person was asked to train someone—after which the trainee was hired to replace them.  Yet God tell us to avoid jealousy and rejoice in the accomplishments of others (Romans 12:15).  Maybe you have heard the expression, “zero-sum game”.  This is the philosophy that for every win, there must be a loss, and for every triumph, a defeat.  The Christian realizes that there are many ideas of life which this concept is not true.  When others win, I don’t have to lose, I can win as well.  In a marriage, both partners can be winning.  In a congregation every member can be growing and benefiting.  In the book of Philippians Paul speaks of some professed Christian preachers who thought that while Paul was in prison they would “edge him out” in terms of his influence.  What they failed to remember was that Paul didn’t think like that, but instead was quite happy the gospel was being preached (1:15-18). His lack of self-absorption became a great source of peace.

Ask Questions

“The art of conversation depends upon finding the right vein and then mining it for the benefit of everyone…it is a rare person who will not discuss where he has been and what he has seen” (In, But Not Of, Hugh Hewitt, p. 173).  The same writer advises us to ask at least six questions in any conversation.  The advantage of asking people questions about themselves, instead of just talking about ourselves, is that we will leave any conversation with more information than when we arrived, and thus be able to guide a conversation for the benefit of all, interjecting  valuable truths.  In addition, no conversation has to be dull or discouraging, rather, it can be informative, remind others of spiritual realities, and be for the betterment of all.  Remember, when you ask a question you are demonstrating an interest in the person asked, and in most settings that will make that person feel quite valued.

Recognize Superior Skills

• When Abraham met Melchizedek after rescuing Lot, Abraham immediately gave Melchizedek a tenth, thus acknowledging his superiority (Genesis 14:18-20).
• After David defeated Goliath, Jonathan the son of King Saul took off his armor and robe and gave it to David (1 Samuel 18:4).  In that act, Jonathan was recognizing that David was the future for God’s people and would be the next king.

“Most successful people I know have never been afraid to recognize superior skills in others, no matter the type of skill and no matter the other…The hardest words for some people to learn to say or write are, ‘I don’t know’.  So I recommend practicing.  Try to add, ‘In fact, I don’t have a clue’, whenever you can.  You will benefit from the learning that comes your way from this frank admission of ignorance; it is also among the most disarming and authentic responses in modern times.  It is so rarely heard, this admission of ignorance, that it carries a huge impact…The fellow who is quick to admit what he doesn’t know is much more likely to be believed when he asserts his expertise” (Hewitt p. 89).

Have you ever had the pleasure of being in a complex situation in which each individual did what they were good at, as others stepped aside to their own areas of expertise, so that in the end, the project was every enjoyable, everyone felt good about their contribution to the project, and an excellent outcome was produced?  If so you experienced an opportunity to learn a few more valuable skills as you watched people using their skills.

Your Life Is Not 9-5

This is often stated in the world of business, but I believe it is even more important in the life of a believer.  If I am to be a blessing to others, then I must realize that my Christianity is very much a 24/7 kind of thing in which I must “Walk in a manner worthy of the calling” (Ephesians 4:1).

Your Life From 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.

I read a book that recently reminded me of the utter relevancy of this often underemphasized chunk of time.  Sadly, it is time that modern man tends to waste or view as expendable downtime to sit and watch television or otherwise be inactive.  It is also, too often, a period of time in which temptation and sin can often get the better of people. Think you've nothing better to do than sit at the bar, play with evil on the Internet, or play video poker?  Let's have foresight enough to determine to "redeem" this priceless large chunk of time.

•  “Go to the ant” (Proverbs 6:6).
• “Know well the condition of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds” (Proverbs 27:23). I think if you grant more than a cursory glance around you, you'll see your "to do" has probably got more than a few long forgotten projects waiting for completion.
• “Nothing is as certain as that the vices of leisure are gotten rid of by being busy” (Seneca). (And I would add: Busy with the worthwhile)
•  “The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are, the more leisure we have” (William Hazlitt).

Be An Interesting Person

How?  First we'd do best to discard the myth that one is either born or not born an interesting person.  People who are sought out, that people want to be around have done the following:

• When they were young they sought out older and wiser people who had a lot of knowledge and good advice.
• They actively read the Bible.  Christians can be some of the most interesting people on the planet, because we can interject into conversations topics that are often ignored in most other settings.  We can bring up such valuable topics as the need for charity, the importance of self-discipline, the rewards of delayed gratification, and the benefits of serving others.  Add to this, what God has revealed about the after-life.
• Instead of trash talk or common gossip, Be an expert in at least one area — especially one that is important and timeless, and not just a passing fad. For example, science or technology, medicine or history, economics or current events.
• Have an answer for the questions that seem to stump most people.  Be ready with the unexpected answer found in Scripture:  1 Peter 3:15 
• Interesting people spend some of their leisure time working out problems that stump others and coming up with a simple and practical solutions. People found Jesus interesting because He gave clear and simple answers to problems that others thought were impossible to solve: Matthew chapter 22

Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.com
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net