Nice or Good?

Mark Dunagan
05/10/15 - Sunday Morning

Nice or Good?

It goes without saying that we all need to "be nice”, just like our mommies told us.  But the purpose of the above title is to get us to ponder the question of whether or not Jesus wants us to be passive Christians.  As a man, one of the challenges of living the Christian life is avoiding the extremes of being sinfully aggressive and sinfully passive.  For example, I don’t want to make the same mistake that Adam made, in allowing Eve to eat and then going along with her in the rebellion just to get along or to avoid conflict (Genesis 3:6). 

The Passive Jesus?

There are two major passages that I believe are often misread in an effort to support the idea that to be a Christian is to be a doormat for the world.  That we should never under any circumstances, assert ourselves or say anything negative or that someone could construe as being "not nice":

• Matthew 5:39-40 “But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.  If anyone wants your shirt, let him have your coat also”

Jesus’ teaching here was never meant to imply that Christians were to be “nice guys” who simply let others take advantage of them.  How do we know this? 1)  Because we are told to be like Christ, and Jesus did not live that way.  He repeatedly challenged evil people, and called them what they were: vipers, hypocrites and white-washed tombs (Matthew 23:27).  2)  When actually slapped He did not literally turn the other cheek, but while choosing this beating for our own advantage and the benefit even of the one slapping Him, He still verbally challenged the person slapping Him (John 19:19-23).  3) We are told in other passages to resist evil and expose it (Ephesians 5:11).  4)  Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:39-42 is in contrast with how the Jewish leaders had perverted the teaching of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth (5:38).  They had pulled that verse away from its intended purpose as a standard of measure in dispensing justice in Israel and had turned it into license to take personal vengeance. So there must then be quite a difference between being boldly vocal for truth, and taking vengeance. Another example sometimes misapplied is this:

• Jesus was Silent before His Accusers:

This was the subject of prophecy (Isaiah 53:7) and there were stretches of silence on Jesus' part, but it is also truth that He was not entirely silent during His arrest and crucifixion.  He challenged Judas for his hypocrisy of betraying Him with a kiss (Luke 22:48).  He challenged the soldiers sent to arrest Him because of their cowardice in seeking to arrest Him at night and away from the public eye (Matthew 27:55).  He plainly stated that He was the Son of God (Luke 22:69).  He rebuked them for being unwilling to answer His questions or believe what He said (Luke 22:67-68), that is, for being completely dishonest.  Yet He warned that they would have to face Him as Judge (Luke 22:69).  He also accused His accusers of being cowardly in their proceedings against Him (John 18:20-21).  Jesus, at times, defended Himself, and so should His followers.

Another look at Jesus reveals Someone who was anything but passive when it came to truth and right and wrong.

• He used physical force on at least two occasions to get His point across.  The picture of Jesus with a whip—and using it to chase people out of the Temple, yelling and turning over their tables in the process is not the effeminate, meek and mild Jesus and so many pictures had attempted to depict.  When the disciples witnessed this event, what impressed them was His zeal for the holy things of God (John 2:17). May every one of us bear this kind of passion in our hearts for the holy things that belong to God.
• He used very strong language.  No, He did not cuss and swear, but He called people, for their own good, fools (Luke 12:20), hypocrites (Matthew 23:25), the offspring of snakes (Matthew 23:33) , blind guides (Matthew 23:24).
• He rebuked Peter sternly by calling Peter “Satan” (Matthew 16:23).
• He told people, in no uncertain terms, and for their own good, that they were going to hell (Matthew 23:15; 33).
• He did not win the favor of those in power around Him, but instead choose to be extremely "politically incorrect" when He came out and attacked people’s motives (Matthew 23:5), taking on the Jewish establishment of His time and exposing it as a complete sham.
• He challenged the people who followed Him and at times rebuked their shallow motives (John 6:26).
• Jesus also did not depict Himself as being unendingly patient or long-suffering.  He said, “You unbelieving and perverted generation, how long shall I be with you?  How long shall I put up with you?” (Matthew 17:17).  He noted that there would be a limit to His patience (Luke 13:6-9).

Forgetting Boldness

“When I became a Christian, I understood that Jesus took my sin away.  What I never heard from Him was that He intended to take my backbone away” (R.C. Sproul).   There are many passages that describe Christians as being bold or exhort us to be bold (Acts 4:29,31; 2 Corinthians 3:12; Ephesians 6:19; Philippians 1:20; 1 Thessalonians 2:2).  In fact, the Old Testament sums up the life of the righteous as being “as bold as a lion” (Proverbs 28:1).

The Myth of the Trouble-Free Life

I clearly understand how a person can believe that being passive by not saying anything will lead to a more peaceful life.  Yet Jesus clearly warned us:  For those who love God, there is no such thing as a peaceful life.  If we truly live the Christian life we will be persecuted, there will be opposition (John 16:33; Acts 14:22; 2 Timothy 3:12).  And the truth of the matter is that being passive only is inviting trouble and evil into our circle.  If Christian men are not assertive for the truth, those who lead others astray will fill that void (Acts 20:31; Titus 1:9-11).

The Myth of the Small and Safe Life

This is the idea that if I "live small", I will sin less. In other words, if I stay in the background, don’t say much, keep to myself, don’t speak out on matters of truth, then I will make fewer mistakes.  The plan to "only stay with what I think am I good at or comfortable with and will not take any risks" is exactly like the thinking and excuses made by the one talent man (Matthew 25:25)—who was in the end, condemned.  My serious question to you and myself is “Which hero of faith in Hebrews chapter 11 lived a small life?”  “Who do you admire in the Bible that lived like this?”  Not even a non-Christian who makes an important achievement lives this way.   It seems to me that this type of life results in not only not accomplishing anything new—but perhaps even becoming less than stellar in the few activities still remaining in one's ever shrinking comfort zone.

Applications

• Being passive does not prevent sinful aggressiveness.  People who are passive often become “passive-aggressive” because eventually one gets quite tired of being a pushover and taken advantage of.  So being passive frequently can eventually turn one into becoming a manipulator behind the scenes.  The way to avoid this is to be compassionately assertive for another's good and for God's glory—just as Jesus was.  Being assertive will keep us and our motives genuine and out in the open and can make all the difference in where someone spends their eternity.
• Just because God says you are a servant as a Christian does not mean you are at everyone’s beck and call.  You ultimately serve Jesus—not all the people of the world.  And serving Jesus will mean giving some people a flat out “no” at times so that you can serve elsewhere in a more spiritually fruitful ways.
• Do not be passive in a marriage. Do not insist that the other person read your mind.  Rather, let your desires, dreams, hopes, and requests be known with clarity.  Do not settle for a low quality of intimacy. Communicate ideas to take your marriage to a "10".  
• Put a higher priority on pleasing God rather than pleasing others.  “It is okay to have an opinion, to be angry and not sin, to embrace your healthy sexual desires, to be respected at work and to find another job if you aren’t” (No More Christian Nice Guy, Paul Coughlin, p. 201).
• If you settle for less—do not be shocked when you get less.
• If people have taken advantage of your passiveness in the past—rather than getting angry at them, get angry at yourself for allowing that to happen, without saying anything.  Put up some biblical boundaries, and hold people accountable as Jesus did.  The right people will be drawn to you when assertive; they will admire you and ask for your advice, while the wrong people will stop trying to manipulate you.
• You are under no obligation to follow the world’s rules in discussing the truth.  You can answer a question with a question (Matthew 21:24).  And you do not have to play by "the rules" invented by sinners.

Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.net
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net