Gentleness

Mark Dunagan
06/28/15 - Sunday Evening

Gentleness

Among the various qualities that compose the Fruit of the Spirit, we find the quality of gentleness (Galatians 5:23). Unfortunately, this quality has often been interpreted as:

• Being a pushover.
• Being a wall flower as a believer and never speaking up.
• Simply listening and never offering any correction when needed.

Time for a Truce?

We currently live in a world where too many professed believers have declared a truce with the world. And what this truce looks or sounds like is:

• “We will not preach against or criticize the sinful things in the world – and in turn you will leave us Christians alone”.
• In fact, often the world tries to convince us to sign such a truce. That is, if they pass legislation that protects various sinful behaviors they will tell the church, “Don’t worry, this does not apply to you – for now”.
• The Bible tells us to flee from immorality (2 Timothy 2:22), but it never suggests that we flee from interaction with the world. It is very easy for churches to become enclaves, where everything the members do is centered around some church sponsored activity, and thus have very little impact upon the world around them.
• Others have misinterpreted the passages against judging (Matthew 7:1-4), as meaning that if I never offer any criticism that God will never critique me. There are many positive things that we have to say – but let’s not forget that we do live in an R and X rated world (1 John 2:15-17). Therefore, preaching against sin will be needed (Ephesians 5:11).

Real Gentleness

“Is the character which is at once passionate and gentle in the highest degree. In which strength and gentleness are perfectly combined, it is the spirit in which to learn (James 1:21), in which a man knows his own ignorance, and is humble enough to know that he does not know, which can open the mind to truth. It is when we have meekness (gentleness) that we treat all men with perfect courtesy, that we can rebuke without rancor, that we can face the truth without resentment, and we can be angry and yet sin not” (Flesh and Spirit pp. 114-121). Gentleness is not a lack of spirit or courage, rather it is where one’s spirit, energy, courage, passion has all be channeled in a spiritual aim. Gentleness does get angry at sin, but that anger is channeled into constructive outlets (Matthew 11:29). Therefore, we are not talking about weakness, but strength that is being directed and channeled in godly and constructive ways when fighting the good fight.

The Benefit of the Battle

There is the temptation to want everything to be polite and for every conversation and interaction with others to be comfortable. Yet, comfort can kill (Revelation 3:15-17). May I suggest that we do our best when we realize that life is a battle, in fact, a very personal battle that is often fought in very close quarters (Ephesians 6:12). Many writers have noted that the soldier described in Ephesians 6:10-18 is not a company clerk, general far removed from the front lines or a cook at the mess tent. Rather, every Christian is viewed as a soldier in the infantry, on the front lines and very involved in the thick of the battle. Neither do we find here a believer who is trying to play it safe and hide – for they are being shot at (6:16). 

Gentle Conversations

Will include firmness and getting down to the real issue. Gentleness also includes the courage to ask the type of questions that really need to be asked. There is always kindness behind such questions, for the goal is the betterment and salvation of the person to whom we are talking. When talking to someone who knows the truth but has not been living it, the questions might be:

• “What have you really gained by not following God?”
• “So, how has this charting your own course been working for you?”
• “Do you realize how much time has passed – time that you can never get back?”
• “We really need you back in the battle – and on the right side”.
• “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed” (Proverbs 27:5).

Gentleness and Sin

The same Bible that tells us to be gentle also tells us to expose evil and speak out (Ezekiel 3:17-19). The Holy Spirit does not consider exposing evil or boldly proclaiming the truth to be bad manners or being rude. We see this in both Jesus and the apostles. People who were searching for the truth were treated with patience and kindness (Luke 15:1), while people who were being dishonest or up to no good were challenged and called upon to repent (Matthew 3:7).

Application

From the Scriptures we know that there is only one cause when it is comes to having the right to put away a mate and remarry (Matthew 19:9). Christians at times can find themselves in other difficult situations. These are hard situations that may include physical and emotional abuse or drug addiction. It has been rightly pointed out that such hard situations do not justify divorce with a right to remarry, but we need to also talk about what can be done. 

• The mate who is sinning needs to be confronted. If they are a man who professes to be a Christian, they need to be confronted by spiritual men of the congregation (Matthew 18:15; Galatians 6:1-2).
• If they are breaking the law (selling, doing drugs, being abusive) our servants, the authorities, who exist for the protection of the good (Romans 13:3) need to be called, and this person removed from the home.
• The men need to support the woman in such situations, offer to do needed work around the house that has been neglected, offer to mentor the children that have been neglected or discouraged, and offer to provide a warm, safe and protective environment for this family.
• The man needs to be helped with both kindness and firmness. Forgiveness is available, but only in Christ and only with genuine repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10-11). We will pray with them, study with them, but equally be holding them accountable and expecting them to take advantage of the help being offered (Galatians 6:4). 
• We will remind them that something is wrong if we (who do not have the problem they have) are working harder trying to help them then they are working to get right with God and overcome their sinful habits.

Iron Sharpens Iron

There are a number of situations in which Christians can really help another Christians when it comes to forks in the road, and making wise choices verses opting for foolish decisions. I have personally seen many of these examples in the past and at times did or did not speak up as I should. If I was about to make one of the following choices – I hope someone would help me see things more clearly:

• I am dating someone or engaged and everyone can see that this other person is not that “into me”.
• I am dating someone that others can see is not going to be helpful to me spiritually.
• I am selecting a career path – that will not enable me to support myself or a family.
• I am single or widowed, past mid-life, have money, definitely someone that GQ would never select as a cover model and some young woman is gushing over me.
• I am married and am spending a lot of time with a woman who is not my wife.
• I am getting excited about some plan I have heard for making money really fast and easy. And I am getting ready to invest in it.
• I am missing a lot of worship services because of extra work, a hobby, or just being busy.

Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.net
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net