Teaching Our Girls - Part 2
Teaching Our Girls II
The Godly Woman: 1 Timothy 5:10
Here is God’s portrait of a life well-lived. Her reputation is that of being involved constantly in one good work after another. She did not sit back and wait for others to serve or argue that she didn’t have the time. Here is a woman who brought up children and yet she still made time for those outside her family. She opened up her home to brethren and strangers, and she washed the saints feet. Literally, this was a mark of being hospitable (Luke 7:44), but even beyond this it was a mark of humility (John 13:1-15). A godly woman never thinks that she is above or too important for menial tasks or serving lowly people, "do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly" (Romans 12:16). She hasn’t stayed away from uncomfortable situations, rather, she has assisted or sought to relieve the suffering of those in distress. Throughout her Christian life she has devoted herself to, that is, followed close upon, every good work.
The Reliable Woman
"The heart of her husband trusts in her" (Proverbs 31:11). We need to impress upon our daughters and sons the importance of dependability (Proverbs 10:26; 25:13,19; 2 Timothy 2:2). Consider and discuss with your daughter the following questions: 1. Does she stick with a job until it is done? 2. Does she take pleasure in a job well done? 3. Can you tell her to do something and know that she will do it? 4. Can she complete a list of tasks without constant reminders? 5. Does she quit when a job becomes difficult, tedious, or boring? 6. Does she do thorough work, or just enough to satisfy a surface inspection? 7. Can people count on her when she commits herself to a task? 8. Is she punctual? A wife or mother must be faithful to her many responsibilities, or the entire family will suffer. She cannot she aside duties until she is "in the mood". 9. Does she waste time? 10. Is she easily distracted? 11. Does she give up easily? 12. Does she only work when being watched? 13. Does she quit working when she doesn’t receive praise or encouragement? 14. Does she complain or does she work cheerfully and willingly?
The Honest Woman
"The heart of her husband trusts in her" (Proverbs 31:11), "Therefore laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor" (Ephesians 4:25). The Bible does place a tremendous amount of emphasis on being honest, and linking such honestly with whether or not we end up with God in heaven (Psalm 24:3-4; Proverbs 12:22 "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord"; 20:7; Revelation 21:8). In raising our daughters (and sons), the following list of questions might be helpful in evaluating their character development: 1. Does she tell half-truths? (Somebody said the problem with the half-truth is that you always seem to tell the wrong half). 2. Does she deceive with her actions 3. Does she omit information or deceive by not speaking? 4. Does she fabricate stories or does she exaggerate, for instance, to impress others? 5. Does she keep promises? 6. Does she follow through on commitments she makes? We have many people in our society who feel that the only promises or commitments they need to keep are those which benefit them or feel good. 7. Is she repentant when caught in a lie, or does she tell more lies in an attempt to cover her wrong? 8. Does she gossip? 9. Does she take or use things without first asking permission from the owner? 10. Does she return what she has borrowed? 11. Does she flatter others in order to gain their approval or cooperation? (Proverbs 29:5) 12. Does she promise special favors or make threats to get someone else to do what she wants? 13. Does she say she was "teasing" when caught in a lie or in troublemaking? (Proverbs 26:18-19) 14. Does she give false reports about the wrongdoing of others?
- Our daughters and sons also need to know the difference between honesty and just saying whatever you think or feel and being honest and having a critical attitude. Our motivation must always be the best spiritual interest of our fellow man and what would truly bring either conviction of sin or spiritual growth. Reflect upon the following passages (Proverbs 10:19-20; 12:18; 13:3; 15:28 "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer"; 31:26 "She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue").
The Loyal Woman
"The heart of her husband trusts in her" (Proverbs 31:11); "She does him good and not evil all the days of her life" (31:12). In Psalm 15:1-5 we have an excellent description of someone who is loyal to God and others. This would include remaining loyal in very difficult situations (Proverbs 17:17), and rebuking a friend if need be (Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend"). Questions that would be appropriate at this point include: 1. Is she willing, because she loves a friend, to humbly point out sin in the life of a friend? 2. Is she willing to work things out when she has been misunderstood? 3. Is she easily offended? 4. Is she willing to forgive when she has been wronged? 5. Does she stand alongside friends and siblings, encouraging and counseling them when things are difficult? 6. Can she keep a confidence? 7. Does she rejoice when friends prosper, or is she jealous and envious? 8. Is she loyal to her future husband now? 9. Does she view marriage as a lifetime commitment? 10. Is she ever loyal when she shouldn’t be, siding with the sinful opinions and actions of siblings and friends, or does she stand up for what she knows is right regardless of what others think?
- Our daughters need to learn the lesson that they must have a greater loyalty to Jesus than to any other relationship (Luke 14:26). If her parents or future husband doesn’t serve God or lapses into unfaithfulness, she cannot excuse or protect them. If the truth offends her loved ones, then she must side with the truth.
The Attentive Woman
"A fool does not delight in understanding" (Proverbs 18:2); "He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him" (18:13; 29:20; James 1:19). Someone suggested that young ladies should listen carefully to their parents throughout the day and at the end of the day write down at least one thing that your father or mother has said to you that you should remember. Young people also need to be trained to detect false doctrine in magazines, newspapers, television, books, religious groups, etc..Parents might find it profitable to have children critique or review a magazine article, book, or movie, explaining how it portrays or contradicts Biblical truth. Questions: 1. Is she attentive to God’s word, does she read the Bible regularly and carefully? 2. Is she attentive in services? Can she review the content of the bible class or sermon? 3. Does she look at you when you speak to her? 4. Is she easily distracted by other things when others are speaking to her? 5. Is she impatient when you speak to her? 6. Does she remember what she has been told? 7. Does she listen carefully in order to understand the feelings and moods of others? 8. Does she interrupt, thinking she knows what someone is going to say before they say it? 9. Does she tend to monopolize the conversation?
The Loving Woman
"Better is a dish of vegetables where love is, than a fattened ox and hatred with it" (Proverbs 15:17); "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you" (John 15:12); "Love does no wrong to a neighbor; love therefore is the fulfillment of the law" (Romans 13:10); "Let all that you do be done in love" (1 Corinthians 16:14); "keep fervent in your love for one another" (1 Peter 4:8).Practical observations: 1. It might be helpful to have our daughters meditate on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and ask the question, "How can a daughter show this type of love to parents, grandparents, friends, brethren, children and husband?" 2. Does she desire to show love for God and others or is she indifferent and self-centered? 3. Is she willing to overlook minor irritations? 4. Does she put the desires of others before her own? 5. Does she hurry to get the best seat, the largest serving, the favorite toy, etc..? 6. Does she seek to encourage and build others up, or does she boast about her own accomplishments? 7. Does she truly forgive others?
The Submissive Woman
"Teach me to do Thy will, for Thou art my God" (Psalm 143:10); "Fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person" (Ecclesiastes 12:13); "Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities" (Romans 13:1); "Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman" (1 Corinthians 11:3; Titus 2:9-10; Hebrews 13:17; 1 Peter 2:13-17; 3:1-2). Questions: 1. Does she obey immediately without hesitation or dawdling? 2. Does she obey without questioning, arguing, or complaining? 3. Does she obey cheerfully? 4. Does her face reflect a quiet, submissive spirit toward God, parents, and other authorities in her life? 5. Do her physical actions and gestures reflect a submissive attitude toward authority? 6. Is she motivated to please God, or is she merely a people-pleaser? 7. Does she understand that God is the final authority to whom we must all answer? 8. Does she know how to respectfully and submissively appeal a decision that you have made? 9. Does she show honor to policemen, government officials, teachers, bible class teachers, etc…Many of the practical observations in this lesson come from a workbook entitled, "Polished Cornerstones", written by Pam Forster.
Mark Dunagan/Beaverton Church of Christ/(503)644-9017