Sunday Sermons
Boys Will Be Men - Part 1
“Often times people will say, “boys will be boys” and forget that every boy does grow into a man. The following quote gave rise to the above title, “Every time you raise a loving, wise, and responsible man, you have created a better world for women. Women today are having to bond to half-men, with boys who were not fully raised to manhood, don’t know how to bond, don’t know what their responsibilities are to humanity, and don’t have a strong sense of service” (Dr. Michael Gurian). As fathers and mothers let us remember that when we are raising boys, we are in fact raising future men. We are not babysitting boys we are training men for the next generation, the next generation of fathers, husbands, citizens, businessmen, civil servants, doctors, lawyers, teachers, professors and soldiers.
They are the Future
James Dobson noted, “If I may be permitted to offer what will sound like hyperbole, I believe the future of Western civilization depends on how we handle this present crisis. Why? Because we as parents are raising the next generation of men who will either lead with honor and integrity or abandon every good thing they have inherited. They are bridges to the future. Nations that are populated largely by immature, immoral, weak-willed, cowardly, and self-indulgent men cannot and will not long endure. These types of men include those who sire and abandon their children; who cheat on their wives; who lie, steal, and covet; who hate their countrymen; and who serve not God but money. That is the direction culture is talking today’s boys”(Bringing up Boys, p. 54). There are examples in the Bible where a complete breakdown of spirituality and faithfulness happens between one generation and another (Judges 2:10 “And there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel”). “That is a perennial peril. One generation can rejoice in a living faith, enjoy intimate communion with God, revel in the kingship of Jesus over daily life, even delight to teach the faith to those closest to them; yet the next generation may come along and care nothing for all that” (Dale Ralph Davis p. 36). “Instead of being filled with wonder that God had reached into Egypt and delivered His people from the hand of Pharaoh, or being moved to praise God when they heard the history of Mount Sinai or Gilgal or Jericho or the Canaanite conquests, they simply yawned with boredom. “Aw, we’ve heard all that before” (Inrig p. 26). “Then the second generation came along. Their reaction was, “Why bother? We have all the land we need. Those Canaanites are not so bad (does that found familiar?) We can get along with them” (Inrig p. 28). They took God’s blessings for granted (Deuteronomy 6:10-12). They were ungrateful and forgot the sacrifices of the past generation, who had to go in and take the land (Romans 1:21 “or give thanks”). We find this same type of moral and spiritual breakdown happening after the reigns of godly kings as well (2 Kings 20:21-21:3; 23:31).
Dobson notes that boys are in trouble today primarily because their parents, and especially their dads, are distracted, overworked, harassed, exhausted, disinterested, chemically dependent, divorced, or simply unable to cope. God notes that people neglect Him and other responsibilities for the exact same reasons (Mark 4:19). Mothers and Fathers need to be reminded that in one generation everything on this planet will be turned over to the children of today. The children of the world will inherit every position of power and authority, every position of leadership and every arena of influence. If we need motivation to spend extra time and make an extra effort when it comes to raising our children, let us remember that our children and especially our boys will inherit everything we own (Ecclesiastes 2:18-19 “For I must leave it to the man who will come after me…he will have control over all the fruit of my labor for which I have labored by acting wisely under the sun”). Our sons will carry on the father’s name (Proverbs 22:1 “A good name is to be more desired than great wealth”), and whether we realize it or not, our reputation as a father will be inherently linked with how they live while we are alive and after we are gone. Our sons will be the future leaders in this congregation. Our sons will have either a good or bad influence over our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Dobson notes, “It can hardly be overstated. We have been emphasizing for years that stable, lifelong marriages provide the foundation for social order. Everything of value rests on those underpinning. Historically, when the family begins to unravel in a given culture, everything from the effectiveness of government to the general welfare of the people is adversely affected” (p. 53).
Our time is Limited
Resist the temptation to want your children to grow up quickly so you can have more free time. Only God knows how long we will be on this earth, and the amount of time that we have with our children is actually very short. Barbara Jackson noted, “It is far easier to build strong children than to repair broken men”. God understands the urgency to spend time with our boys today(Deuteronomy 6:7).
The power of Male Influence
Taking the time and effort to bring up our boys in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), will be time and effort well spent. “Sociologist Peter Karl believes that because boys spend up to 80 percent of their time with women, they don’t know how to act as men when they grow up. When that happens, the relationship between the sexes is directly affected. Men become helpless and more and more like big kids” (p. 56). I believe there is a tremendous amount of truth in the statement, “Tie a boy to the right man and he almost ever goes wrong”. Fathers simply need to realize the power and influence for good or evil that they have in reference to their sons. The president of a large construction firm when asked what he is looking for when he hires a man noted, “I look primarily at the relationship between the man and his father. If he felt loved by his dad and respected his authority, he’s likely to be a good employee. I won’t hire a young man who has been in rebellion against his dad. He will have difficulty with me, too. I have also observed that the relationship between a boy and his father sets the tone for so much of what is to come. He is that important at home” (pp. 60-61). No wonder that God established the home with a father and a mother (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 6:1-2). God expects fathers to be active and vocal in their role (Proverbs 4:1 “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father”). In fact, the book of Proverbs could be viewed as an entire book of instructions from a father to a son.
Things men can Teach
Or we could say, things that men need to teach. There are certain truths that when they come from a father they seem to be more meaningful and real. Fathers need to speak to their sons about the importance of courage, unselfishness, sacrifice, obedience, duty, honor and Dobson notes: “If you speak disparagingly of the opposite sex, those attitudes will translate directly into dating and marital relationships later on. Remember that your goal is to prepare a boy to lead a family (Genesis 18:19; Joshua 24:15) when he’s grown and to show him how to earn the respect of those he serves. Tell him it is great to laugh and have fun with his friends, but advise him not to be ‘goofy’. Guys who are goofy are not respected, and people, especially girls and women, do not follow boys and men whom they disrespect. When he is strolling along with a girl on the streets, he should walk on the outside, nearer the cars. That is symbolic of his responsibility to take care of her. When he is on a date, he should pay for her food and entertainment. Guys must be the initiators, planning the dates and asking for the girl’s company. Teach your sons to open doors for girls and to help them with their coats or their chairs in a restaurant. If he treats her like a lady, she will treat him like a man” (pp. 75,76). Yes, mothers can teach all these lessons as well, but there is something different when your father teaches all these lessons. In the book of Proverbs a father advises his son concerning all sorts of things in life, from financial commitments (6:1-5), the right work ethic (6:6-11), to the sort of women to avoid (5:1ff), and the woman to marry (31:11). Dodson notes that our children and especially our sons are hearing a lot about safe sex, but a father needs to remind his son that there is no safety, and no place to hide when one lives in rebellion to the laws of God! (Numbers 32:23; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 5:5). And like it or not, fathers are probably just as, or a little more, qualified to speak to their sons about the facts of life (Proverbs 5:1-23), because they can identify with the urges and desires that their sons might be feeling, and they can present the truth from the perspective that the son needs to hear, that is from a male perspective.
Predators
The world is filled with predators, that is, people who prey upon others. “Dogging the young like hungry wolves are predators who would exploit them for financial gain, including drug pushers, unprincipled movie and television producers, sex abusers, abortion providers, heavy-metal freaks, and now those who inhabit the Internet” (p. 203). For our sons, they will face immoral women (Proverbs 5:3), the wrong friends and companions (Proverbs 1:10 “Of sinners entice you, do not consent”), adult men who are poor role models (Proverbs 22:24-25), false teachers, people who will try to tickle their ears and seek to appeal to wholesome desires (2 Peter 2:18-19; 2 Timothy 4:3). In addition to all this they will face a world that is hostile to God as well as godly men. In many circles today, especially in the feminist and liberal academic community, fathers are viewed as being actually detrimental at home because of the amount of family resources they consume (“Deconstructing the Essential Father, American Psychologist, 54, no. 6 (June 1999): pp. 397-407). We must prepare our sons for a world in which many resent the presence of a strong godly man who is a leader. Many will try to undo the work that we have done, many will try to beat our boys down and keep them from assuming their God given responsibilities. Many will ridicule their attempts to lead their families. In light of these facts, fathers need to purposefully select good reading material and purposeful viewing of movies and television programs to counteract this offensive from the world, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes” (Psalm 101:3; Philippians 4:8).
The good, family Man
Dobson notes that the expression, “a good family man” has almost gone into obscurity. “It was once widely used in our culture to designate a true badge of honor. The rough translation would be ‘someone who puts his family first’” (p. 70). “Good”: He is a lover of goodness, a companion and supporter of good men, and he is a lover of God’s moral standard (Titus 1:8 “loving what is good”; 2 Timothy 2:22; Titus 2:2,7-8). “Family”: There is something is life more important than himself, the focus of his life is his family. He sacrifices his time, energy and resources for this family. He does not sacrifice the family in order to achieve his own agenda. “Man”: He is the provider for the family (1 Timothy 5:8). He is the leader of the clan, the final arbitrator on issues of substance (1 Corinthians 11:3). He is the protector of his wife and children. “It was his responsibility to see that the house was safe at night and that the children were home at a reasonable time” (p. 71). He is the spiritual leader of the home (Genesis 18:19; Joshua 24:15). “He was the interpreter of the family’s moral code, he made sure the children went to services every week” (p. 71).
