Leaving Home

Mark Dunagan
08/10/08 - Sunday Morning

Leaving Home

This sermon is also available in video format here.

Every late summer and early fall a new batch of young people are heading off to college. In this lesson I want to help young people see what temptations and challenges are just around the corner. In the Bible we often find parents or those older giving the next generation a heads up concerning what the road looks like up ahead, including specific temptations that they will face (Proverbs 1:10; 6:1; 24). Added to this, we have God who has given us everything we need (2 Peter 1:3), and even warns us about temptations that our parents may have never specifically faced (Psalm 119:9,11).

• The Danger of Low Expectations

What should offend young people is not what God requires of them (2 Timothy 2:22), but the lack of faith that the world has in them. The world, including unbelieving friends, co-workers, relatives, unfaithful Christians and even educators, expects that you will fornicate, experiment with drugs and alcohol, and live basically a very selfish lifestyle for a while. Some adults actually want you to fail so they feel better about their own wasted youth, and thereby justify their own rebellion. The value of such low expectations is that you can use such to take the fun out of sin and rebellion. Personally, I really never wanted to get drunk or fornicate if I knew that adults, especially the friends of my parents or relatives were expecting me to fail. Concerning this point, what amazes me about the faith and self-control of Joseph is that no one expected a slave to be an example of virtue. It may have been very hard to believe that Joseph had not assaulted Potiphar's wife, because many might have reasoned, "Under the circumstances (rapid promotion, prosperity, a beautiful woman finds you attractive), I probably would have done the same thing". Use your first years of independence to close the mouths of your critics, by living uprightly thereby proving them wrong.

• The Danger of Anonymity

For the first time in your life you will find yourself for an extending period of time in a town where no one knows you. This will be a new kind of temptation; it can lower your inhibitions, and it can appeal to your pride. There is something very appealing about a temptation if you start thinking that you can "get away it" and no one will know.

Proverbs 9:13-17 "The woman of folly is boisterous, she is naïve, she knows nothing... Stolen water is sweet; and bread eaten in secret is pleasant".

In contrast to the legitimate, wholesome, real, and abundant feast that wisdom offers (9:2), the woman offers things that she does not have any right to offer. "Eve had to be convinced that the sweetness would survive the stealing; we have fallen far enough to be persuaded that it depends upon it" (Kidner p. 84).

How often does the world try to convince us that what is "forbidden" offers the best pleasure of all? Former sinners will testify that what is forbidden isn't better, rather it only brings pain and shame. Consider the contrast, wisdom offers wine and meat. Folly offers stolen water and bread! Here again we see that wholesome pleasures offer far greater blessings, pleasure, and memories then the "bread and water" life offered by temptation. Again, I am impressed by Joseph. In Egypt he had complete anonymity, yet Joseph protected himself. He instantly made it clear to everyone that he was a believer (Genesis 39:3,9; 40:8; 41:28). At every stage of his life, in Potiphar's household, in the jail, and before Pharaoh, he made it clear that he believed in and honored God. You can help yourself with temptation when you make it politely clear to your new friends, your convictions and faith. This will immediately make you accountable to a new group — that is, people who expect you to behave like a Christian since you claim to be one.

• The Temptation of Autonomy

From new classmates, to co-workers, professors, guidance counselors and others, you will be told that now that you are eighteen and away from home and you don't have to listen to mom and dad or any authority figures anymore. Yet, "honor father and mother" (Ephesians 6:1-2) does not have an expiration date. Of course, when the professor encourages you to reject the Bible as the final authority — beware, he is often wanting to be the final authority in your life. You will experience the same kind of test that Eve faced in the garden, when the serpent said, "You surely shall not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:4-5). R.C. Sproul in commenting on this verse observed, "This is the essence of the primordial temptation — to be like God, to have no restraints, no limits, no crowding of self-desire by the rule of another. To be autonomous — that's the temptation" (If there's a God, why are there atheists?, p. 140). So when people encourage you to "think for yourself" (which sounds good), they are often tempting you to think as they think, think as the crowd on the broad way thinks (Matthew 7:13-14). Rather, have the courage to break from the crowd, and accept that an all-powerful God knows what He is talking about. Yet notice the results: "The promise of the serpent was not fulfilled. Adam and Eve did not become gods. Autonomy was not found. What followed was a tragic loss of the freedom previously enjoyed. Human freedom was not augmented, but diminished" (Sproul p. 140). Their rebellion did not improve their marriage; it weakened it (3:12). They did not invent a better Paradise - rather, they lost Paradise. They did not find a higher level of personal growth; rather, they regressed (3:12-13). They did not feel better about themselves, but worse (3:8). Barriers were not broken down, rather, new barriers erected (3:7). They did not find a new freedom, but rather were even more self-conscious.

Specific Temptations

Evolution will be taught as fact, Creation and Intelligent Design will be ridiculed: Is your faith presently grounded enough to not lose your spiritual perspective and grip in the process of getting a degree?

Dating: Simply put, walking with the wise makes you wise and anyone will suffer harm when walking with fools. If befriending a non-Christian, you need to make your convictions clear early on. Unfortunately, people in the world often expect that a date will involve some sort of sexual compromise. Evil companionships cannot turn off the corrupting influence (1 Corinthians 15:33), unless they change.

Your faith will be Challenged: You might think that the major challenge to your convictions will come to some biology class, but you might not be prepared to the assault in an English class, health class or other subject. The good news is that while your professor might have encountered all sorts of religious people before, they may never have encountered a genuine believer whose faith rests not upon emotional arguments, but upon solid evidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be drawn into what he wants to argue and on his terms, spend some time carefully listening to his arguments, do some research, brainstorm with other Christians, and then carefully plan and execute your approach. As a result you will learn a lot more about the Scriptures. Yes, the professor may make some arguments that you have not heard before, yet there is no real argument against the truth. There will be a time to put some questions to them and put them on the defensive.

Financial Temptations: For the first time in your life you will be offered a credit card. Be careful about believing the myth that you can always charge something and since you are young you will always have the time to eventually pay it off. College is a great time to get into the habit of planning a budget, carefully sticking to it, and learning to live below your income. Instead of creating bad financial habits, let this be a time that you learn the lessons of self-control and delayed gratification.

Moral Compromises: You may be tempted to cheat and lie in order to make deadlines and when taking tests. Yet remember that the end never justifies the means, and eventually a test down the road will reveal that you never really studied the material. So do not sell your soul for something as small as a test score or any other temporary, limited and purely earthly advantage.

The Temptation to Waste Time: For the first time in your life, mom and dad will not be around reminding you to do your homework or chores. It is amazing how much time can be wasted by goofing off, and how much you can get done in a day by simply using each moment well (Ephesians 5:16). Remember, the person who is getting A's in the class and the person who is failing are both given the same amount of time each day. Work now so you can play later.

The Temptation to remove God from First Place: Do not place homework ahead of God. Yes, homework is important, but God is number one (Matthew 6:33). Do not accept the excuse that since you are in college that you are exempt from certain obligations. You still have the obligation to worship God with other Christians (Hebrews 10:24-25), be an active member in a local congregation (Ephesians 4:16), share your faith (Matthew 28:19), and be an example (1 Timothy 4:12). I have found that people who put God in second or third place during college often continue that habit when they graduate, get a job, get married, have children, and so on. Develop the habit when young of putting God first, no matter what, because life is not going to slow down when you graduate. You will not receive an extra hour or two in the day when you get your degree, rather, if anything, life will be busier.

Tremendous Opportunities to Let Your Light Shine!

You will encounter all sorts of young people and adults who are searching for the answers of life. You will encounter unbelievers who have been sheltered and have never interacted with a genuine Christian who knows the Scriptures (1 Peter 3:15). You get the opportunity to prove that the parenting you received while growing up was wise, and you can honor God and your parents!