This Thing Called Love

Mark Dunagan
06/10/12 - Sunday Morning

This Thing Called Love

First Corinthians 13 may have been written almost 2000 years ago, yet it still stands as the benchmark by which all definitions of love must be measured.  It is equally clear that no better definition of love has arisen since then and that people still need to be taught what love is and how it manifests itself.  For selfishness, impatience, envy, quick-tempers, rudeness, sharp-tongues, arrogance, resentment and bitterness still exist in our society, as they did in the First Century.  It is also a chapter that clearly makes the point that the Bible, some 2000 years later is just as relevant as it has always been and how Scripture provides the answer for so many problems in a few short verses.  For the answer to every problem in the area of relationships between people is answered in this short definition.  Every self-help book, every book about relationships, every counseling manual, is either summed up or corrected by these simple verses. Another way of saying the same thing is that if "love" sums up every law God has ever given (Romans 13:10; Matthew 22:40); it must sum up anything useful and intelligent that human wisdom would offer.

Love is Patient

Literally, love has long-temper.  In this section Paul also will add that love bears all things and endures all things (13:7).

• This means that love doesn't run away from problems.  Neither does love demand that everything go smoothly and on schedule.  Love is not a quitter.  The person who loves has accepted the fact that we live in an imperfect world, surrounded by imperfect people, and does not demand that everything go as planned.
• Love does not need ideal circumstances in which to thrive. Therefore I cannot say, “I would be a more loving person if my life had more comforts or if the people around me just would all cooperate”.
• Love is not something that mysteriously happens when everything is perfect, the music, the mood, the perfume and so on.  Such moments are special, and I certainly believe in planning a date, but love can equally exist in all the other moments when various elements are missing or are far less than ideal.

Love is Not Jealous

It would be obvious that Love is not envious, that is, not preoccupied with others have.  That love is able to be happy with others succeed, are more talented, can do something better than they can or are having a happy life.  Yet, equally true is the fact that love is not possessive concerning what it does have. 

• Love is generous, love will give, love will help others from its own resources.
• Love is willing to share.
• Love does not prevent a mate from growing spiritually.  Love is not threatened when a wife or husband are on fire for God.  Love admires such devotion and encourages it.
• Love is not threatened when a mate is more talented than we are in a certain area.
• Love is not resentful when a mate is serving others—and such takes away from the time that we could be spending with them. 

 Love Does Not At Unbecomingly

“Is never rude” (Mof). “It isn't indecent” (Beck).  We live in a society where there seems to be an increasing number of people who are interested in "shocking" others.  Love isn't interested in "shock value".  Obviously, love is absent from much of the music industry and the secular media.  Love is also absent from many talk-shows and other television programs, for love will never move a person to discard the accepted standards of decency, just so they can get attention. "It is commonly a lack of love rather than a lack of knowledge that leads to bad manners, impropriety, and embarrassing rudeness" (Erdmans p. 134).  On a very personal level this means that love does not go out and create drama in order to “revive” a relationship. 

Love Does not Seek Its Own

“Does not insist on its own way” (RSV). “Does not insist on its rights” (Gspd). “Does not pursue selfish aims” (Nor).  "It does not seek its own; it does not believe that finding oneself is the highest good; it is not enamored with self-gain, self-justification, self-worth" (NICNT First Corintians. Gordon D. Fee p. 638).

• Therefore, genuine love is not primarily a feeling that is focused on self, for love understands that in many cases, the needs of others need to come first (Philippians 2:3-4).  Thus, a father goes to work for his family, even when he would rather stay in bed, and a mother sits up with a sick child, even though she would love to sleep at the moment.
• Love will put itself second, and love will not pursue any ambitions in which others must suffer for it to find some temporary fulfillment of happiness.

Love Does Not Rejoice in Unrighteousness

"It is one of the...traits of human nature that very often we prefer to hear of the misfortune of others rather than of their fortunes. We are much more interested in hearing a spicy story to someone's discredit than a story to someone's praise" (Barlcay, Corinthians. p. 136).

• Love finds no enjoyment in listening to gossip.
• Love finds no fulfillment in a cheap way of feeling better about yourself when you hear about the failure of someone else.
• Love cannot enjoy being selfish or sinning.
• Love will not bend passages to make things easier on self or to accommodate a friend or family member.
• Love would never encourage anyone to sin or join them in sin: Romans 1:32
• Love would never give advice that would encourage anyone to take the easy way out or compromise their faithfulness or integrity.
• Love does not look for loopholes in Scripture.
• Love does not look for a way around obeying a command.
• Love will not enable people when they are in sin, and love cannot fellowship someone who refuses to repent:  1 Corinthians 5:13; 2 Thess. 3:10.

Love Rejoices with the Truth

Observe how this verse is worded.  It does not say that love tolerates the truth, rather, genuine love truly enjoys God’s commands.

• Love has taken the time to study and understand God’s point of view and see the wisdom behind His commands.
• Love realizes that the Scriptures are simply an extension of how God is, and one cannot separate a love for Jesus from a love for His teachings (John 14:15).
• Love does not criticize the truth, and neither is love embarrassed by a Biblical teaching (Romans 1:16).
• Love will speak respectfully and joyfully about Bible study, obeying God’s commands, teaching the truth, and defending the truth.  

Love Bears/Believes/Hopes/Endures

Love is optimistic, it never moves a person to become cynical or pessimistic.  Love will move a person to love the people of God fervently (1 Peter 1:22), despite the bad examples of a few professed Christians. Love will never lead a person to abandon God.  Love has never moved a person to quit coming to services. Love isn't suspicious.  You just can't convince love that God is wrong.  You can present one human opinion after another, one human argument after another, even one human study or survey after another.  Yet love won't budge an inch from Divine truth. 

Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.com
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net