Sunday Sermons
Love Protects
Love Protects
To a world where enemies of our relationship with God, brethren, parents, and spouses abound, the Holy Spirit reminds us that genuine “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). Love is very protective of relationships. “Some are clever and seem attractive, only to undermine your love and appreciation for one another. Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies and unrealistic comparison” (The Love Dare, p. 111). The writers then point out other common dangers from which our relationships need protection:
- An Unwise Use of Our Time: Ephesians 5:16
When we are spending too much time on the Internet, watching TV, engaging in a hobby, recreational pursuit, or even in our work schedules, we will most certainly become “out-of-balance”. At a recent men’s class one of the elders wisely noted that he had never worked in a company where the boss said, “You need to go home”. Certainly then, we must take charge and be diligent about taking time for your marriages and families. Obviously, “You cannot protect your home when you are rarely there” (The Love Dare, p. 111). Yet the same principle is true with our other relationships. Nowhere does Jesus say that it will be effortless or easy to keep God first, rather we need to “seek first” His kingdom (Matthew 6:33). A company, or boss, or sports coach will try to grab first place. We need to learn this lesson early. While still at home, young people need to make certain that no part-time job, or school, or a sport, or friends erode away their relationship with their parents.
- Unwise Time with Unwise Relationships
While we must be out and about influencing the world for good, we also need, at every age, to be wise enough to recognize the difference between wise and foolish friend choices. “Not every man you hunt and fish with speaks wisely when it comes to matters of marriage. Not every woman in your lunch group has a good perspective on commitment and priorities. In fact, anyone who undermines your marriage does not deserve to be given the title of ‘friend’” (The Love Dare, p. 112). Compare with 1 Corinthians 15:33; Proverbs 13:20).
- Unwisely Sharing Confidences
“Because marriage has a way of exposing it all to you and your mate, you need to protect your wife or husband’s vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public. Their secrets are your secrets (unless, of course, these involve destructive behaviors that are putting you, your children, or themselves in grave danger)” (The Love Dare p. 112).
- Parasites
Anything that is sucking the life out of your relationship, anything that is stealing away your heart from God, your mate, your parents, your faithful brethren, is like a parasite. And many of these parasites are addicting. Both husbands and wives need to resist the lies in the entertainment world that blur reality and demand unfair and unrealistic expectations on our spouses.
Protection that God has Given Us
God has not left us unprotected, rather He has graciously and wisely given us much help when it comes to protecting our relationships. Some of these include:
- Prayer
Not only do we have the immense blessing of access to God in prayer, which allows us to unload all our anxieties and fears (1 Peter 5:7), couples likewise have the wonderful privilege of praying together. “It is hard to stay angry long with someone for whom you are praying. It is hard not to back down when you are hearing your mate humbly cry out to God and beg Him for mercy in the midst of your heated crisis. In prayer, two people remember that God has made them one. And in the grip of His uniting presence, disharmony blends into beauty” (The Love Dare, p. 182). There is nothing like hearing someone else pray to get an entirely different perspective about them. For example, we may have been impressed with the life of the Pharisee and not too impressed with the life of the publican in Luke 18—until we heard them both pray. Their prayers give us an entirely different view (Luke 18:9-14). It is very difficult not to be drawn to someone or want to help someone, who humbly says, “God be merciful to me the sinner”.
Yet like many resources it is tempting to forget about them and not even to use them. Remember, “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2). Make prayer an integral part of your life. And don't go a day without it.
- Scripture
In our day when knowledge is just at our finger-tips and when we can easily find any verse in the Bible with a quick Internet search, the task of memorizing Scripture can be easily forgotten. Yet laying up God’s word in our heart is as important as ever, for it is the first defense again sin (Psalm 119:10-11). Can you image the advantage you'd have in your battle against sin, if memorized verses quickly popped up in your mind anytime a sinful thought tried to enter? There are times when many of us have seen documentaries about something that is harmful to our health, such as cigarettes, or illegal drugs, etc., and after viewing such information we quit cold turkey. When the temptation to smoke came up we immediately remembered the vivid picture of that diseased lung or the man in the hospital bed on oxygen. Scripture should do the same thing for us. “Jesus talked about people who build their lives on sand—their own logic, their best guesses, the latest reasoning. When the storms of life begin to blow (which they always will), foundations of sand will only result in total disaster” (The Love Dare, p. 177). And the reason that lives built on Scripture end up withstanding the storms is because God has the right plan for everything! Whether the plan is about how to handle your money, how to raise children, how to treat your body, how you prioritize your life, how you handle conflict, or how you treat a mate—God is always right.
- Support From Other Wise Couples
“He who walks with wise men will be wise” (Proverbs 13:20). “But a wise man is he who listens to counsel” (12:15). “Gaining wise counsel is like having a detailed road map and a personal guide while traveling on a long, challenging journey. Why waste years of your life learning painful lessons when you could discover those same truths during a few hours of wise counsel?” (The Love Dare, p. 172). In addition, when we spend time with other faithful couples, we are less likely to find ourselves years later saying such things like, “I wish someone would have told me that years ago”. If we spend time with faithful Christians we will more likely hear the things we need when we need them.
Couples or spouses often get into trouble when they think that their marriage is exempt from outside help. And we will need such support and encouragement from time to time (Hebrews 3:13; Hebrews 10:24). Good marriage mentors will love us enough to warn us before we make a mistake, they will encourage us to do hard things. And how does one pick a good mentor? Look for a person who has the kind of marriage that you want to have in the future. In addition, by spending time with other faithful couples, you will be reminded that following God’s word is not only helping your marriage, it helps any marriage.
- The Wisdom of the Other Person in the Marriage
The person I married has insight and talents that I do not have. What a grave mistake if I did not bring that talented person into my decision making process (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). “Don’t try doing all the analysis yourself. Don’t disqualify his or her right to voice an opinion on matters that affect both of you” (The Love Dare, p. 163). Need a good example of a powerful man that ignored the wisdom of his wife? Think Pilate (Matthew 27:19 “Have nothing to do with that righteous man”). She was right!
- We Have Been Given the Right Motivation
Years ago when we were children we probably encountered the concept or verse in which God told us to obey and honor our parents (Ephesians 6:1-2). At that moment we realized that we did not merely have our parents to answer to anymore. We realized that rebellion against them was not limited to them or to this life or limited to a short period while we were living at home, but it was rebellion against God Himself and had eternal consequences. Christian are told to honor parents, work hard for an employer, respect husbands and love their wives because obedience to God is the ultimate reason for so doing (Colossians 3:23; Ephesians 5:22,25). Realize then, that every relationship you will ever have in this life is enhanced by letting your love for God become your driving motivation. Want stability in your future? Determine to never abandon these relationships (even those many others do) because you've already determined to never abandon God.
Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.com
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net
