Optimistic Love

Mark Dunagan
11/11/12 - Sunday Morning

Optimistic Love

Has there ever been a more optimistic and positive force for good than love? When I look at how God defines genuine love, especially with the words, “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7) the resounding answer must be an emphatic, "No!".  

Optimistic Yet Not Gullible

Make no mistake, love is certainly not a blind emotion, for in the same context God says that “love rejoices with the truth” (13:6).  Genuine love is grounded in what is real, authentic, factual and altogether true.  Love will never turn a blind eye to evil, instead it sees the evil in the world and rather than rejoicing in it or excusing it (13:6),  it so rejoices in the truth that it willingly battles destructive falsehoods.

Love is Not Jealous: 1 Corinthians 13:4

William Penn wisely noted, "The Jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves." Havelock Ellis further describes jealousy as a "... dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive. “Jealousy is a common struggle.  It is sparked when someone else upstages you and gets something you want.  This can be very painful depending upon how selfish you are.  Instead of congratulating them, you fume in anger and think ill of them.  If you are not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships” (The Love Dare, p. 37).   The person in whose heart is genuine love is a person who realizes how blessed he or she is.  It is very hard to “upstage” someone who understands all the blessings that go along with being a child of God (1 John 3:1-2).  Why resent the blessings of another—when I have received a customized batch of blessings myself?

Love is an Encourager

God’s people are frequently instructed to encourage or exhort one another.  1 Corinthians 13:7 gives us one reason why:  Love is ever hopeful, which means that it always makes sense to try; it always makes sense to offer an encouraging word, in fact that encouraging word may make all the difference to a discouraged soul.

• “Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble” (Isaiah 35:3).
• “And began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord” (Acts 11:23).
• 1 Thessalonians 3:2 “To strengthen and encourage you as to your faith”.
• “Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble” (Hebrews 12:12).

Obviously, in the marriage relationship, this means that I need to be my spouses’ biggest cheerleader and unofficial captain of his or her fan club, enthusiastically celebrating their successes, and certainly never resenting that they might be more in the limelight, having more fun at a given moment, or are better at something that we are. Whether is my spiritual brother or sister, or a marriage partner, their success is my success.

Determine to become a skilled encourager (Acts 15:32; 16:40).  And what specific encouragement can I offer to Christians when they seem down?:

• Remind one another how much God has built into this world, that we have working on our side: The earth and the universe is on our side—they preach a daily sermon. Romans 1:20. The sowing and reaping principle is on our side: Galatians 6:7-8. The fact that people are made in the image of God is on our side. The fact that the principles give in the Bible work is also on our side.
• Since Jesus said the way would be narrow (Matthew 7:13-14), do not think something is wrong with you when you find yourself out-numbered by unbelievers, for such can often indicate you are actually on the right path.
• Since God has said the whole world lies in the evil one (1 John 5:19), do not despair over cultural trends, the results of elections, or what is popular.  It is no surprise the world was in darkness. Deep darkness. All the unbelief around us only means that we are all the more desperately needed as a light to those in darkness.
• This world is not our true home, so a temporary win or loss here means nothing in the long run. Jesus is coming again and evil will be dealt with.
• Just look at the people you know who have obeyed the gospel just like you.  Look at the things that people have overcome.  Look at the young people who are serving God and who have resisted the brainwashing of the world.  1 John 2:14. The gospel truly does work (Romans 1:16). Spend more time with these Christians (Hebrews 10:24). Develop a habit of scheduling hospitality.
• Spend more time with your children, and be very involved in developing their deep faith in God.  Band together as a family, display mutual appreciation (Ephesians 6:1-2) every day through word and actions.

Love Chooses to Rejoice/Love Delights

Love rejoices in the truth and that is a choice.  In like manner, we can choose to delight and rejoice in our marriages and our walk with God.  We can either view God’s will as a burden or as a great light that removes many excruciatingly heavy burdens.  Love likewise rejoices in the truth because it understands the real value of God’s word.  “Do not let the culture around you determine the worth of your marriage” (The Love Dare, p. 53).  Determine to frequently remind yourself:

• Why you fell in love with this person.
• The wonderful times you have enjoyed together.
• The person he or she has helped you become.
• What you would have missed without him or her.

Delight Includes Greeting

“It is probably something you don’t think about very often—the first thing you say to him or to her when you wake up in the morning, the look on your face when you get in the car, the energy in your voice when you speak on the telephone.  But here is something else you probably don’t stop to consider—the difference it would make in your spouse’s day if everything about you expressed the fact that you were really, really glad to see them” ( The Lord Dare, p. 42).  Remember how the Father of the Prodigal met him with such joy!  (Luke 15:20).  “What kind of greeting would make your mate feel like that?  How could you excite his or her various senses with a simple word, a touch, a tone of voice?  A loving greeting can bless your spouse through what they see, hear and feel.  Think of the opportunities you have to greet each other on a regular basis.  When coming through the door.  When meeting for lunch.  When saying good-night.  When talking on the phone” (The Love Dare p. 43).   After all, if we are expected to greet our brethren with a holy kiss (Romans 16:16), and even greet our enemies with kindness (Matthew 5:47), then clearly the way we greet our spouses needs to be ..."impressive".

Love Brings Unity

The decision to reject evil and rejoice in the truth is the path to unity in a marriage, congregation, nation (John 17:20-21).  This is especially seen in marriage, where the husband and wife are viewed as “one” (Genesis 2:24). 

• “Husband—What would happen in your marriage if you devoted yourself to loving, honoring, and serving your wife in all things?  What if you determined that the preservation of your oneness with this woman was worth every sacrifice and expression of love you could make?  What would change in your home if you took that approach to your relationship on a daily basis?”
• “Wife—What would happen if you made it your mission to do everything possible to promote togetherness of heart with your husband?  What if every threat to your unity was treated as a poison, a cancer, an enemy to be eliminated by love, humility, and selflessness?  What would your marriage become if you were never again willing to see your oneness torn apart?” (The Love Dare p. 148).  

You only live once, Let's determine to make our relationships all they can be!

Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.com
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net