Sunday Sermons
Growing Up
Growing Up
Often when we are younger we are being told to “grow up”. But what does it mean to act “like a grown up?” What would be clear indications of adult-like behavior or that I am maturing in the right direction? In looking at how other people in our culture have responded to this question I find the following. Being a grown up is….
- When you pay your own way.
- Being accountable for your actions.
- The decision to face and not evade a crisis.
- When you realize that you need to work with other people in order to accomplish things that will make the world a better place. That you no longer consider yourself to be self-sufficient.
- Some say, “If you have to ask whether you are a grown up—you are not”.
Then there are many people who don’t even like the question, rather, life for them is all about growing up. Some would agree with the statement, “It is hard to grow up, rather it is much easier to skip it and go from one childhood to another”. To some, being mature means being boring or missing the fun. In this lesson I wanted to examine some of the marks of actually being truly mature, not by the world’s standard, but by God’s standard. Paul said, “but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). May I suggest that such maturity does not result in becoming boring person, rather such ensures that one does enjoy life and does not miss out on what is truly rewarding fun that will stand the test of time.
Grounded
The verse right before Ephesians 4:15 says, “We are no longer carried about by every wind of doctrine”. Being a mature believer means being a leader rather than a follower. One is no longer a slave to every new idea or fad. Neither are we a slave to “what is the latest and newest”. Rather, we wisely pick the best from the old and the new. Neither are we slaves to change just for the sake of change. We change when we need to, when it is in our best spiritual and personal interest. We know all the areas in which God does not mind if we change—and we clearly know what does not change (Colossians 1:23).
Experts as De-escalation
Long before anyone wrote any material or put together any videos on “De-escalation Techniques”, the Holy Spirit said, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). It has been my experience that faithful Christians who have good marriages and good relationships with their brethren are people who practice the above verse. This verse gives the first and primary step of defusing tense situations, that is, you must first defuse yourself. In any tense situation, it is very difficult to remember various steps and procedures, that is why God does not give us a script of what specifically to say or not to say. Rather, He tells us to practice working on controlling our own anger, and improving our listening skills and patience (James 1:19,21; 2 Timothy 4:2; 2:24-26). God does not define for us what the “gentle answer” is—because it can be all sorts of things, from “I see what you are saying”, “That’s a fair point”, “Have you considered this way of looking at the problem?”, “I’m sorry, I did not see you were already in line”, or, “Sounds like you have had a rough day”.
A Good Listener
- Really listens, without interrupting: James 1:19
- Really listens, even when we are being corrected: Proverbs 9:8-9
- Gets all the facts, hears both sides, hears all the information before jumping in and saying something, taking sides or forming an opinion: Proverbs 18:13; 16-18 “The first to plead his case seems just, until another comes and examines him”.
- Willing to change when one hears the truth: Acts 18:26
- Is a very patient listener.
Contentment
“For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am” (Philippians 4:11).
Most would agree that being mature means accepting personal responsibility, and often we rightly apply that to our actions, choices, financial decisions, and so on. Yet it equally applies to our own current mental attitude. Paul said that he had learned to be content in whatever circumstances that surrounded him. That is a mark of maturity, for often we convince ourselves that we cannot be presently content or happy, but will be when the circumstances change. Maturity means taking responsibility for my current attitude, and changing it—if it needs changing. This means when we are poor, or single, or with a brood of small children, or without children, or old and infirm—we are grateful. It is the realization that if I cannot be happy with what I have now—no amount of scenery changing is going to improve my happiness. This truth is repeatedly demonstrated when people win the lottery. What they thought would bring them a greater happiness only gave them a temporary bump—and then they went back to their former level—or below it.
What I Think About
When we are immature we are often thinking things like, “What about me”? We are often preoccupied with our feelings and level of happiness. We are also constantly trying to bump it up with earthly things or sinful pleasures. Maturity is when we often think about God and others---a lot less about self. We are more preoccupied with what others are experiencing, what they might need, what would encourage them and make them feel better. On this point I think of the poor and persecuted Macedonians who begged for the privilege of being involved in helping the poor Christians in Jerusalem (2 Corinthians 8:1-5). Consider the following passages as well (1 Corinthians 10:24, 33).
I Belong To….
When we are immature we often use words like, “me”, “mine”, “my”, “myself”. We view our time as our own, and our bodies as being our own exclusive property. Maturity means that we realize that we belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:18-19), and our purpose here is to bring honor to Him and His Son (1 Corinthians 10:31).
It is Not Good Enough….
When we are immature we often consider our current level of spiritual involvement as “good enough” or “better than most”—even though it may qualify from God’s perspective as being “lukewarm” (Revelation 3:16). I was recently listening to someone talk about their former life as a Satanist. They said that one of the things that moved them to that belief was that it looked like the power of darkness was more powerful than the gospel when you examined how people were living, including many professed Christians. I could see how someone might think that. It is very discouraging to see someone who has been a Christian for many years demonstrate a behavior or attitude that makes it appear that the gospel has had very little impact or power upon changing them. This person also said that they would go to Bible studies and consciously select the people whose lives were not consistent with Scripture and then work on them to move them further away from God. This founds scary and devious, but what also struck me is that it did not take long for this unbeliever to quickly spot a lukewarm member. They could actually tell which members would compromise or sell out—if the price and opportunity were right. That is, someone who was not really that committed, or who wasn’t content with their faith, or was inwardly grumbling about God’s restrictions, or who was infected with discontent about their blessings, life, etc.. Growing up means that I determine that I will not be someone’s excuse for rejecting the gospel or never giving it a fair hearing (Matthew 18:6-7; 1 Corinthians 10:32). I will be the person that they will never think about trying to lead astray. I will be a large argument against their theory that everyone is a hypocrite.
Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.net
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net
