Be The Glue

Mark Dunagan
11/24/13 - Sunday Morning

Be The Glue

Certainly one of the greatest pleasures and often one of the most spiritually advantageous blessings we have are the people with whom we enjoy a closeness. It's no wonder such relationships are often the target our spiritually enemy works so hard to break down. And few things can cause us more unrest than chaos in our relationships.

•  “...a slanderer separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 16:28).
• “All the brothers of a poor man hate him; how much more do his friends go far from him” (Proverbs 19:7).
• “My loved ones and my friends stand aloof from my plague” (Psalm 38:11)
• “My relatives have failed, and my intimate friends have forgotten me” (Job 19:14).
• Even Jesus found Himself forsaken by His friends (Matthew 26:56).  In like manner, many left Paul as well (2 Timothy 4:16).

In contrast to the reality of fair-weather friends, the Bible reminds us to seek out those spiritually upright friends "who stick closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

• “The Lord grant mercy to the house of Onesiphorus for he often refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chains; but when he was in Rome, he eagerly searched for me, and found me” (2 Timothy 1:18).

So what are some of the very practical ways to be that we can show ourselves to be that priceless and life-enriching "friend that sticks closer than a brother"?

Be a Matchmaker

• I am not talking about a “matchmaker” in the traditional and romantic sense of getting two people together for the purpose of dating and marriage.  Rather, there is a real need to be someone who brings together people who would really benefit from each other’s friendship.  The Bible is filled with great “teams”, such as Joshua and Caleb, David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 19:1; 1 Samuel 23:16), and Paul and Timothy.   And how true when God says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). And yet for this sharpening process to happen often a third party needs to bring these two sharpeners together.  Really what this is all about is sharing your friends with others. When successful people are studied one common trait or experience they often have is that they met someone in the past who motivated them.  Remind yourself as you meet people to be ever asking, “Who do they need to meet?” For example:
• If you are in school, plan a social gathering that brings together school friends with influential Christian friends.
• Bring the person at work looking for a church into contact with some strong and energetic members of the congregation.
• Bring the young man who desires to preach into contact with someone willing to train him.
• Bring the young newly married couple into contact with other strong couples to work alongside them in service to God.
• Bring a young man or young woman together with someone who could really mentor them in a God-honoring career path they are pursuing.

Host Gatherings

That is, bring together at a gathering in your home, or other location, people whom you believe "need to meet each other".  Beyond the meeting of just two people, you can even do some team building. “I am a companion to all those who fear Thee, and of those who keep Thy precepts” (Psalm 119:63).”He who walks with wise men will be wise” (Proverbs 13:20).  See also:  Acts 13:13; 19:29; Philippians 4:3.  As a Christian I need to build a net-work of strong Christians around me.  This network will include Christians from all across the country that I have met that encourage me. 

 It has been noted that in many businesses and organizations there are “holes”, that is, gaps between people or departments where communication and ideas stop or die.  The same can be true of the church. We need to be the bridge or junction between people who are skilled in various areas, yet need to meet others outside their circle of expertise for their God-glorifying ideas to really take off. For example, the person who is very analytical and has done the detailed study needs to meet the person who is very personable and outgoing who can "give wings" to a spiritually ambitious project.

Organize Events

People who are "the glue" in families or organizations are involved in organizing events for the family or group.  They don’t wait for others to get something going.  And they are not discouraged if their first few attempts are not enthusiastically supported.  Rather, they might start out small and just keep building. They are too busy in the joyful task of "inviting" to keep track of how often they've been "invited".

Create the Circle

It has been noted that people who are striving to be successful or exceptionally good at something are not necessarily motivated by money or fame, but rather to achieve membership and acceptance in a specific circle of people.  That is, they want to be invited to the gatherings of people who are go-getters, who have good ideas, who have a can-do attitude.  As a Christian we do need to belong to a circle of people who have wisdom, who believe in the power of God, who stand in awe of the promise of eternal life and who tremble at God’s word.  And yet we need to zealously seek to add as many to this happy, thriving circle as are willing. When we are present at services, let’s also be spiritually, mentally and emotionally present.  Before a service starts or after it concludes, lift your eyes and determine to talk to someone new at each and every service. Pull them into the circle. Be part of the warm vibe in a congregation.

 

Be Protective

There are two very practical things we can do "behind the backs" of other believers.  First, we can speak positive things about them, bring up their strong points and encourage others to get to know them.  Paul often did this, he would commend and recommend various individuals in his letters (Philippians 2:25-30; 2:19-20).   Become skilled at saying kind things about those we love when they are not present. Secondly, we can quickly extinguish any gossip that we hear, protecting the reputations of our brethren (Ecclesiastes 7:1), valuing their reputations as much as my own.  How? By quickly pointing out how the rumor may not agree with the facts, accurately describing a brother's character, faith and good deeds, because "Love is kind, not jealous, does not act unbecomingly or seek its own. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. And it "hopes all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). In addition, we need to be quite difficult to offend and very patient with others, focusing always on the many things we love about an individual, rather than the few things that might annoy us, and doing our best to remove from our behaviors things that others may find to be "unbecoming".

Challenge the Negative

Too often people who tend to thrive on or spread discouraging news go unchallenged.  Here we can immediately do something constructive:

• When we hear complaints or criticisms we need to request a solution from the person complaining.  “What do you think may be some workable solutions?” 
• We can put people to work!  This is what God did when Elijah complained (1 Kings 19:15).  We can say, “You are right, that needs to be fixed or that person needs to be encouraged!—Come on let’s go do it!”.

• In the presence of complaining, we can immediately remind all present of our blessings and how God is working in our world, recalling all the successes we have witnessed and of the wonderful souls around us who are being resolutely faithful (Romans 11:3-5). In many respects these are "the good old days" and we to be grateful for the blessings unique to this time.
• When we listen to the discouraged, immediately remind them of all the blessings we have seen come into their lives.
• Share your faith in the majestic power of God.  This is what angels often did in the face of discouragement, “Is anything too difficult for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14).
• The glue says:  "It is working" It is important that as Christians we let other Christians know, especially those young in the faith, that following Jesus is working for us.  We are learning such things as contentment (Philippians 4:12), and we are growing. 

Talk It Up

People who are the glue also are the unguarded people who appropriately and verbally express their deep affection to one another. Paul often did this, calling believers "My true child in the faith" (1 Timothy 1:2)  expressing his "fond affection" (1 Thessalonians 2:8). The Apostle John referred to fellow believers with paternal affection as "Little children" (1 John 2). Whether your style is through a written note, a verbal reminder, a brother to brother back-pounding bear hug, or a sister to sister "holy kiss" (Romans 16:16), express your affection. Be the glue.

Mark Dunagan/mdunagan@frontier.com