Sunday Sermons
The Seeds of Peace
The Seeds of Peace
Someone wisely said, “If your relationships stink, your life stinks”. That statement is not in the Bible, but life experience seems to confirm its truthfulness. A wonderful view or great meal can be ruined by drama. By contrast, being right with God and brethren, can turn a difficult day into a good day. As an old woman said, “Hunger makes good sauce”. At a much deeper level we find Jesus commenting upon our relationships and He said something that was astounding:
“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering” (Matthew 5:23-24). He also presented the opposite situation: “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother” (Matthew 18:15).
Jesus knew what He was requiring. He knew He is asking us to do something most people find incredibility hard and uncomfortable; either to ask for forgiveness or to confront someone about their sin. He knew that those two things are incredibility unpopular, yet He issued those commands. Therefore, relationships are worth restoring. Such passages equally infer that it will be very hard to worship God as we should as long as we are the cause of drama in a relationship.
“Circumstances in my life have forced me to take a closer look at Jesus’ teaching on the brother who sins against us and what to do about it To be sure, there are offenses we do better not to fuss over but to simply overlook: ‘Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense’ (Proverbs 19:11). But for more serious matters, overlooking can be indifference and not love. Also, for a person like me who would rather be busy doing just about anything other than dealing with a potentially time-consuming personal spiritual matter, overlooking can be a sign of lack of faith too. How? Because if I choose my pressing to-do list over dealing with a fellow Christian’s spiritual state (which my flesh tempts me to do), am I not really believing that it is more profitable to get my list done than to obey God?” (Andee Seu Peterson, Guardrails of Gravity and Mercy, 10-27-2015, Worldmag.com).
Some Clarification
God never commands us to have unconditional peace with everyone. We need to work for peace, yet the Bible equally informs us that there will be people in our lives who refuse reconciliation (2 Timothy 3:3 “irreconcilliable”). So we should never feel guilty or like a failure if we cannot bring about peace in a relationship, rather Scripture says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18). In other passages, the Bible also informs us that when people are continuing in sin or spreading false doctrine and they refuse to stop, there can be no peace (Matthew 18:17; 2 John 9-11).
The Need for Scripture on This Subject
We live in a world that is often just a failure when it comes to making relationships work. One needs to look no further than the 50% failure rate of all first marriages. Added to this, I recently heard someone making the point that parents need to prepare their children for the possibility of going through a divorce. We do live in a world where people:
- Run from and avoid needed conversations in relationships.
- Refuse to own up to the problems they are causing.
- Are unwilling to compromise and do what is necessary to make the relationship work.
- Pretending that there isn’t a problem.
The reason the world isn’t very adept at reconciliation and restoration is because it is often using the wisdom of this world to fix what is, in reality, a spiritual problem. Here is what James said on the topic: “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing” (James 3:16).
The Seeds of Peace
“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy, and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those make peace” (James 3:17-18).
- Make the First Move
Being proactive is stressed in Matthew 5:23-24 and 18:15. This is true whether the conflict in the relationship is your fault or admitting fault. May I suggest that the phrase in James 3:18 “is sown in peace by those who make peace” would suggest the same thing. So we are to be more than “peace lovers” or even “peaceable”, we are to work for peace. Peacemakers are rare because making peace in a sinful world is hard work. We live in a society that often believes that “time heals everything”. The truth is that time heals nothing. Time often makes the problem worse if the problem is not dealt with. “In conflict, time heals nothing; it causes hurts to fester” (Rick Warren).
- Address the Problem
This was equally seen in the two sections quoted in Matthew (18:15 “show him his fault”). So peacemaking is not avoiding conflict, running from a problem or pretending that it does not exist. In addition, neither is peacemaking the same as appeasement. Jesus never backed down when truth was on the line and He never made peace with those who refused to give up their rebellion against God.
- Pray to God Before You Go
Praying before an attempt to make peace will remind us that we are doing His work and not our own, that this is not about making you or I look good, but about pleasing Him. Peacemaking is hard work, so prayer is absolutely necessary. Talking to God also keeps us humble and helps get rid of any feelings of superiority if we are the one showing someone else his or her fault.
- Come Desiring Peace
James said that the wisdom from above is “peaceable”, “reasonable” and “full of mercy”. This sounds like someone who wants to have right relationships with others and with God, who values mercy and wants to be forgiven and at the same time offer and extend forgiveness.
- Be Consistent
The term “unwavering” in James 3:17 reminds me that when I say that I forgive someone or when I say that I am sorry that I must not go back on my word. I must not act friendly today and then revert to anger the next day.
- Have the same standard for yourself
James also mentions “without hypocrisy” as being part of the wisdom from above. That is, I must not demand of others what I am unwilling to do myself. If it is sinful for them, then it is likewise sinful in my life. If it is not sinful for me, then it is not sinful for them. This also means that if I am part of the problem then I need to own up to my need to change. It is good, from time to time, to look at your own life and ask, “Am I the problem? Am I being unrealistic, insensitive, or too sensitive?” (2 Corinthians 13:5).
- Only Pure Weapons Are Used
“During the Cold War, both sides agreed that some weapons were so destructive they should never be used. For the sake of fellowship, you must destroy your arsenal of relational nuclear weapons, including belittling, comparing, insulting…” (Rick Warren). Certainly we would add getting rid of mean spirited comments and the desire to hurt the other person verbally because they are frustrating you. Even when in a conflict, we still are to act and speak like Christians (Proverbs 15:1; Ephesians 4:29).
- Step Back, See the Big Picture
The wisdom from above is “reasonable”. In the middle of a conflict, even when we are trying to restore someone, we are still to be reasonable people. This means that we try to cooperate as much as God allows. This means that if we are disagreeing over something that is not sinful that we don’t put it in the sin category, that we admit that it is a difference that we don’t have to agree on in order for there to be harmony, we are able to separate the non-issues from the real issues, from what doesn’t matter to what does matter to God. Reasonable people are also very good listeners. Listen first to God’s word then listen to the person with whom you are in conflict Understand that when a person is angry, jealous, feeling sorry for themselves, caught up in pride or infatuated with another person often don’t make a lot of sense (Psalm 73:21-22). So help them first get right with God and that will itself be a giant step toward peace in your relationship with them.
Mark Dunagan | mdunagan@frontier.net
Beaverton Church of Christ | 503-644-9017
www.beavertonchurchofchrist.net
